These Fucking Sex Writers Are At It Again...

These bitches make me blush so hard I should call them the next day.

Well, this is how we started the daily news today.

You want a dick in your a**? Listen, bitch, I haven’t even had my 4th cup of coffee this morning, and I wrote 9,000 words last night. I don’t want anything in my ass.

This is the shit I’m talking about with these sex writers. God love ‘em, I know they’re doing that whole “advance us as sexually unrepressed women” thing, and that’s all fucking good.

But, damn, bitch do you have to let it all fucking hang out? Like, you couldn’t save anal for after breakfast? You couldn’t save the lube talk until this fucking Keurig stops spitting this morning?

Look, I’ll be the first to admit, I have hangups. I do. We all know I do. However, I seriously don’t know many people sitting around having a cup of coffee with their coworkers that are like “oh, shit, bitch. You see this? What’s your thought on anal? You down? Lube or nah?”

I mean, y’all might. Y’all might be bout it, just having anal discussions as though you were talking about the traffic on I-4.

That ain’t me. I can’t see it.

I know these ladies are doing what we need done. They’re out here claiming sexual independence and doing that whole “woman with sheets on fire” thing. Cool. Thank y’all.

But, I mean, damn. Bitch. You can’t do a smaller font for the anal headlines?

Fuck.

Carry on. That’s all I have right now.