It's Gems Like These That Keep Me From Deleting Profiles...
It's been a minute, so let's have a laugh.
First off, ew. You are not my daddy, you will never be my daddy. As a matter of fucking fact, I might make you call me daddy if you keep fucking with my nerves.
Secondly, your breasts are bigger than mine, so fucking put a shirt on. Don’t even get me started. I can feel me about to do that thing that I do, y’all know the one, where I go on a hurtful to those who deserve it spree because I feel like someone needs to be punished for allowing this to be a societal norm with these fucking trash ass dudes.
Every time I feel bad about my life, I just visit the inboxes of dating profiles and instantly feel so much fucking better about things. Because it could be a lot worse. I could be dating some goddam Bozo like this ignorant ass, jailhouse tatted, 36D if he’s got a nipple type of moron.
Nah, hoss. I’m a lot of things, but fucking with that is not one of them.
You know, I wouldn’t dream of just coming at someone with some idiocy like this. Like, that’s trash from jump street, and when you go digging around in a dumpster, this is exactly what you come up with.
And that is the problem with online dating. For every one decent person who is actually attempting civil conversation, you have 62 of these fucking morons. The gross is so fucking gross. Like it gets on you, like it was Florida humidity, and you just feel disgusting and ready to hide in the safety of the AC and lack of wannabe Fuckboys.
However, just because they’re gross doesn’t mean they can’t be pretty fucking hilarious. It’s the whole reason I check them. I must have laughed for 30 minutes at this shit.
Call me a kink shamer if you want to, I don’t give a fuck. Yep. Sure am. Because y’all are fucking stupid with this shit, you wouldn’t know a fucking kink if it nipple clamped you.
I am 100% positive that I don’t know any women who are going to get this message and just immediately feel like, “this is incredible, I was just wondering if I could find a daddy to please”. The fuck out of here. This is real fucking life, not whatever porn you have running in your mind, you little nasty ass pasty Bozo.
There aren’t any women who are going to fall all over themselves to be some sort of pretend submissive to a dude who can’t even grow chest hair. I know so many of these “doms” and let’s clarify. They aren’t doms. They will more than likely never be doms. You could add seven or eight of them together, they still wouldn’t equal a dom.
Sirs, collectively pack your non-dominant asses right back into the goddam clown car you arrived in. You aren’t fooling anyone.
It’s this type of shit that makes the entire group of dudes out there laughable to me. Like, I only wish it was satire. No. No, it’s just what happens to people when you can stream all the porn you can possibly find at all fucking times of the day.
Get off of xnxx and do some goddam chest presses. For the love of fuck.
Well, if it isn't Captain Clown Shoes himself.
I deleted mine some time ago, I will happily live vicariously here. Fucking Bozo.
Oh my god, the absolute nerve!
I knew I could count on you for a good laugh tonight
🤣 🤣