You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass, If It's Clearly Marked "Don't Touch"...
You damned right I'm gonna grab it with both hands.
You know, I’ve got this whole being a complete fucking knucklehead thing down to a science. If I can actively color outside of the lines in any way, shape, or form, someone had better give me that big 64 pack because I’m going all the way in on it.
So, when I purposely tell myself that something is totally off limits, you already know how shit is going down.
It seems I have a problem and I’m fairly certain I need some sort of rehabilitation. What in the actual hell could make me go New Age and yoga on a bitch, you ask…Yep.
The Fuckboy 5.0.
He calls. Yes, I answer.
He texts. Uh huh. That too.
For what? It may seem as though there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to it. There is.
He loves me being tee fucking totally ass over neck about him.
And why wouldn’t he? It’s gotta be an ego boost. Essentially, he is willing to destroy me in order to inflate his own sense of worth.
This is just another of the Telltale Signs Of The Fuckboy, being the absolute only individual who matters. However, the fault is my own for busting through the caution tape I wrapped this Fuckboy in the last time. I’m talking about I fucking Bruce Jenner’d my way through that shit, too, like I had just won the medal.
*You’ve won no medal, Bitch, but take this tiara and sash declaring you “Queen Of The Fuckboys”*
In other news today, I’m strongly considering a lobotomy. There is a time and a place for a culling of the condition, and honey, *ding-dong*, we’ve arrived.
Also, as an aside, I reworked my figures from the other day. This dude is definitely The Antichrist. I’m 87% certain.
I would ask if he reads your columns, but... We all know Fuckbois don't read
I'm convinced u should write a book...I would totally read it religiously! When u ✍write, I feel like I am there with u, witnessing this shit & seeing it all play out. So very entertaining! I find myself searching my email for my "subscription" & I look forward to reading all about ur shenanigans!😊