Will The King Of The Fuckboys Ever Be Dethroned?
It's looking like a "negative, Ghostrider" from where I'm sitting.
So, over the weekend, someone reappeared via message. And for the love of Christ, it made me wish I no longer had messaging.
It was the King Of The Fuckboys. Yes, Derek himself.
What could he possibly want, outside of me lighting him on fire in my front yard, you may be asking… (trust me, I asked myself the same shit).
“Babygirl, we having a reunion over here to the house. Where you at? You wanna come through?”
Ugh. Not on your fucking life. The only thing worse than spending time with him, would be spending time with a bunch of assholes I didn’t like growing up, now just older douchbags than when I last remembered how much I don’t like them.
Now, I thought this whole scenario had cleared itself up. He’s with that drunk bitch that he last cheated on me with, and from what I hear it’s pretty serious. They live together, she has young kids that live with them.
I know, I know. I don’t know why I thought that means anything to a Fuckboy. And obviously it doesn’t matter who knows what, because everyone we know knew exactly how his dirty ass was doing me, yet nobody said shit. However, I digress.
So, per my usual, I said “I would literally rather be eaten alive by 2 ft. long great white sharks. One fucking bite at a time. Over the period of several days.”
I really don’t know why he continues to do this. I haven’t seen him since the day I threw his shit out the front door and told him to “get his hos to help him pick it up. Organize your team, Fuckboy”. And I have no desire to do so.
No, wait, once since then. He came into a bar I was working in. With some dirty ass looking tramp to which I said “I don’t serve whores in this establishment, so both y’all can get the fuck out”.
I was still a little in my feelings at the time. I have no other excuse.
You know, he will flat out say “I wish I hadn’t done you like that”, and fifty or sixty other things that are supposed to make me think he has somehow developed some sort of a pseudosoul. I’m not delusional. I know exactly what it means.
For one reason or another, he’s alone. She’s at work, out of town, at the beautician, or visiting a friend. And he’s no doubt had a few. It always brings out the nostalgia in him.
Every time, it’s the same. Back when I was a dumb bitch, I used to let it tear my heart up. Now, I understand that because my name starts with an A I’m one of the first messages to go out. I doubt I would hear from him at all if my name was Kendra or Mandy.
In other news, I’m thinking of changing my name to Zelda. I’ll let y’all know if I can get that paperwork started this week.
Hahahahahahaha
Not even trying to be snide here.. just my intensely *cough* pragmatic Aspie self.. ;}
Does the whole Southern Hospitality thing actually require that you take messages from this doof?
I mean, Bless His Heart and it's a GOOD Thing Jesus Loves Him and all, but I'd hit the block button on my phone so fast his texting finger would fall off from the impact.