Well, we all know I’m incredibly fucking soft right now. Like medicated cotton, basically, and that means I’m sequestered from the outside world because I have a tendency to be rash.
This isn’t new news.
However, in this time of me being a fucking vag, Brian has done what Brian does. He has extended the “BMan”. Basically, “tell me what you need, woman. Here, I linked our texts with Rach since she is close and can keep you from hurting yourself. Let’s talk when you’re ready. If you need me I’m over here, holler”.
Just generally holding my life together while my hands are busy holding the mangled pieces of my fucking heart.
Thank you, Brian. You are my best friend, my wingman, and I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.
A lot of times, Brian doesn’t discuss his past, but he has one too. She was completely off her rocker, and she did major damage. (Yes, of course, I’ll beat the brakes off of her if I see her, you know me, don’t you?)
This was an area where normally, I’m the one with the episode. I’m the one who is the weirdo. I was unfamiliar with the view from the stands.
I’m not anymore.
So, of course, Brian and Brandi, who are the trailblazers in this area for me, and also Kris, with intimate knowledge of the matter, are beside me through the night as I try not to float away on the tears I’ve flooded my new beige tile with.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do about the tile, either. Yes, beige.
So, today found that I physically just don’t have any tears left. My eyes are nearly swollen shut and I’m a worse look than the year I tried to wear a bob.
Let’s never talk about that again.
I’m going to focus on finding an area rug to cover this beige. I’m going to brush my beautiful, long hair. And I’m going to again thank Baby Jesus for my team, my readers, my family.
I promise y’all, tomorrow I will be better. But, for today, I’m just going to silently and tearlessly cry a little longer.
After today, I will be myself again. After today, I’ll sew this fucking breastplate shut myself.
My pleasure April! You need a shoulder call, and don't mind "appearance" cause I'm blind in one eye and can't hear out t'other so I can't judge having been where I've been.
Also don't sweat the tile. It'll wash whenever you get around to it, and it'll keep just fine until you do.
You are loved honey! 😍