Hello, everyone. Your Queen here, and we should talk.
Many of you follow me on Medium, where some of my more serious columns are published, and where I curse less often because Barack and Michelle Obama publish there, and y’all know Michelle is my girl crush. I try to put on airs, as any good Southern woman knows how to do.
However, in the comments section, bitch I fucking go ham. I don’t play the radio with those people over there, and when I tell you it is infested with conservatives who love to try to tell everyone else how to live their lives, even that cannot encapsulate what wading through the bullshit can be.
The other day I happened upon an essay written by a man. It was discussing Roe. Yes. I know. Not a good day for that man to have hit my radar. However, this isn’t about that. This is about a woman who commented on something I said, and dug through my history to tell me the things that are wrong with me, and how she could have wound up a Godless heathen like myself, save for Christ.
I suggest you get yourself popcorn and a refill now.
Before I address the pro-life, pro-church, pro-man propaganda that this woman has been conditioned to believe is her saving grace, I will address the matters at hand.
Many of you have been with me for literal years, before I was writing professionally, back in the early days when most of what I wrote was very raw and very personal. I thank you for staying on with me while I found my voice, and being in my corner when I have to talk of things that aren’t comfortable. That aren’t funny in any way, no matter how I may try to spin them.
I’ll address some of her points:
Yes, I have been hurt by every single man in my life. Ever. All of them. Except for my loyal readers who have loved me when I did not love me, and extended yourselves to me because I needed someone to tell me I was worthy, or I was still strong enough, or simply that I’m ok. It didn’t take some holier than thou, if only you had Jesus, too bad you opted for the route to hell spewing broad to comb through my life to tell me that. As a matter of fact, I come here regularly and tell the entire fucking universe all about it. It’s called 1-800-FUCKBOY, and you can get it in both visual and audio format.
Secondly, you’re late to the party if you’re looking to talk to the woman who was hurt. That woman took that hurt and turned it into the fire that burns inside me today. The bitch who kicks in doors and clears out anything weaker and smaller than those who abuse them, and has no fucking problem punching you dead in your shit if you don’t like it. The bitch who is a stop on the railroad, and will continue to be probably until the day I die. The bitch who won’t take your shit, his shit, or their shit, so you better bring backup, some authorities, and a couple pits on tow chains if you think it’s the day you really want to fuck with me.
So, trying to appeal to the woman I used to be in an effort to shove your religion and anti-feminism down my throat is a tactic I know well. I’m both Southern and Catholic. I know these ruses all too well, because it’s how I was taught to be a “lady”, how I was merely molded to comply. Former beauty queen here, remember. You know I’ve walked the walk on both sides, and I can tell you with every bit of honesty, it took everything in me to be brave enough to break free of that mold. Now that I have, though, they’ll never force me back inside.
Clearly, the life I lead and the decisions I make to help women have autonomy, to help women have a right to choose about their body, their education, their children, and their lives, well that’s just me “doing what I want”. And we all know how God frowns upon that. Because I refuse to believe that women should die in childbirth, or be forced to have the child of a rapist, well, that’s just me not being any better than my upbringing.
I’m going to address that right now. My momma, God bless her, got a lot wrong. I’ve openly discussed it over the years, and sometimes it’s been cathartic, other times probably just a road to discovery for me. However, that’s a conversation between she and I, and I will let you, my fans, know that I’ve chosen violence when it comes to addressing that point with this fundamentalist wanna be bitch. I apologize if you think I should not have, not because I did it, but because you’re clearly not in tune with what I have going on here.
If you want to dig through my life to find fault in me, it isn’t difficult. I’ve laid it all out for you, from bad marriages to bad men, bad choices and even worse solutions at the time. But I’m honest and upfront about my faults, I’m the first one to laugh at the shit I’ve gotten wrong. Which is exactly how I know that the way I campaign for women, the way I get in the fucking trenches for women, and the way I never stop fighting for women is the one fucking thing I’ve gotten right in my life.
I apologize, I was a little upset by the goddamned audacity of this bible thumping bitch who honestly can’t see that a patriarchal religion used as a defense for a misogynistic society go fucking hand in hand. I bet she would lose her shit though, if I compared it to the Taliban and female circumcision, huh? They are one and the same.
If you allow your religion to dictate what is allowed to happen to people, we’re going back into the barbaric times. A 2,000 year old text cannot govern who we are as people today. Those people thought the earth was flat, they thought pigs couldn’t be consumed, they have never seen a vehicle, or electricity. Should we shut out the fucking lights and ban pork shins too? Of course not, that would just be stupid.
Yes. Stupid. That’s exactly what it is.
The only thing I’m really pissed about is that while you were combing through my life, sifting through trying to find a chink in my armor, a fault that you could somehow twist like a knife in my back to get me to “see the error of my ways”, you didn’t even clap for the columns.
You evil bitch.
The next time you’re searching for fault in me, remember that I already have a crib sheet printed. Just ask me for one, I’ll email it right over. It will come direct to you from thequeen@askabitchface.net because that’s who in the fuck you’re attempting to fuck with, and to call it unwise is the understatement of the year.
I know exactly who I am and what I’m doing. Before you try to shame me into anything, I suggest you hide behind your bible, because you need to know that I will create the time to read all about your wretched little beliefs, and when I tear them into tiny shreds and set the pile on fire, bitch, you’ll know exactly where you fucked up.
If you want to choose an opponent here, assemble your fucking army first, bitch. You just made my fucking list. Congratulations.
The only times I've told you that you're worthy, are the times that you are worthy.
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But then, I find great Value in folks who call out the gaslighting of would be religious (or political, or racism, or sexist) fascists for what it is.. lies, evasions, and mind fucking frauds.
Keep up the Good Work! You absolutely are worthy on every level.
ASS! HANDED TO THAT SILLY BITCH! BTW such a Christian woman.....JUDGE much?
Tell that bitch to pack a lunch