Bitchfaces, allow me to be candid. Frank. Full on all out with it.
I’m all about fucking up anything that might be good in my life. It’s what I do. I’m a self-sabotager. I’m a wreck my own lifer. I’m determined to cut me first, and deeply at that. Because if I do, well, fuck whatever little wound you had planned.
Clearly, I have all of that covered over here.
Recently, I have been doing the most bang-up job at this, to which point even I’m amazed. Truly, I’ve exceeded my own expectations, and paused to pat myself on the proverbial back about it, if you must know.
I swear to Christ, if anything good comes my way, I will trip over myself to immediately beat it mercilessly with a broom until it’s off my porch. I cannot figure out how to shut that feature off inside myself. It’s built into the drive, it’s chipped into the ignition, it’s wired into the fucking power source.
What is a Bitchface to do?
I don’t know.
Today, I told MeMe, “bitch, don’t let me fuck this up. Like, keep an eye on me, man, I’m toxic”.
Welllllp, allow me to fill you in on some surprising ass information. I completely fucked shit up by 9pm. In case you’re not aware, that’s before Murder, She Wrote, goes off the air, and dammit, that’s impeccable timing. I still had time to digress.
I digress.
I recognize the fact that I’m legitimately constantly illin. Always. Without pause. But, much like the rest of this unhealthy ass train wreck I call relationships, knowing the derailment is near and doing shit about it just cannot intersect.
I can’t stop this shit, not even with two engineers and an e-brake.
May as well run it straight to the house, then.
If you were waiting for me to get my shit together, you might as well have a seat with the fat bitches in the back row. It ain’t fucking happening. I’m over here snapping the bolts off in this shit.
Better bring the tap and die kit.
Fuck.
-Q
Perhaps it's time for a professional intervention or exorcism
Well, just remember, you ain’t the Lone Ranger, sis. Been there, lived that... Just not as brave as you are...I just retired from the frackin’ lists.