Or a handful of rescue dogs.
So, when my rescue dogs get here, I’ll need some help naming them. One is definitely gonna be Rocket.
In all honesty, I really couldn’t ask for more than I have. I have Puffin, who really doesn’t love anyone but herself, but what did I expect? I turned her into a narcissist. I have my copywriting, this, that, and the other 893 platforms you can find me on.
I have more amazing shoes than I’ll ever go places to wear. Two, maybe three things that really matter to me and keep me striving to be strong enough to make a difference. Really, be the change that I want to see.
This glossy ass hair, don’t forget that. I have a few people who believe in my ability to help people so much, they send me dream board pictures of tiny house communities so I don’t forget my goals. (Ahem, Mary, I think we know who I’m talking to).
I still have however many tomorrows left to try to get shit poppin. If they run out before I’m through, hopefully I’ll have made enough headway that someone else can finish the job.
I have y’all. And all of the interesting and complicated lives that y’all have, I’m lucky enough to get to share them with you. I know about your kids, you send me pictures of your pets, sometimes you even tell me about something nice your husband did for you, and I pretend it doesn’t make me wistful.
No matter how out of pocket this life has gotten at one time or another, I still made it to story time. A lot of folk were pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen, but I do have a propensity for getting stabbed, and people seem to believe one mean dog or another is gonna get a piece of my ass one day. If it does, I’m biting it back, know that.
This can sometimes be the rougher part of the year. I remember when I hated this time. It made me long for a family I no longer had, and miss a life I could never go back to. It’s not so bad now, though. I still do the same thing I’ve always done, hell, 25 years or more now.
If you don’t have a place to be, you can come here. My home is always open to those who need a family. It’s not your nanas house, but the fact that I throw the word fuck around like it’s fucking confetti should clue you in to that.
Nobody should be alone if they don’t want to be. That’s very much the point of the holidays. I understand how it happens, I’ve had my own issues with my people (hey, momma), but when I sat it out, it was my choice. I know that for a lot of people, that isn’t the case. If you need a place to feel like home, I got you.
Only one stipulation. Better wear socks, Florida or not, because nobody tracks up my fucking floors. You’ll tote a Christmas ass whipping for that.
Merry Christmas, my friends. I hope you get everything you wished for, and they all come with a gift receipt in case they don’t look that great in natural lighting. I’ll be working all the way through New Years Day due to some other obligations, so you can reach me on the Bitchface lines if you need anything.
I got you. It’s the best part of my job.
Love,
Q
I asked that fucker for true love last year, but he must've gotten Covid. So I kept my mouth shut this year and will get my own presents. You know men can't pick out a good gift anyway.
Merry Xmas April, Puffin and Rocket! True love would be so nice, but I think I'll just focus on the animals again this year. Far less disappointing