I left the house yesterday.
Yeah. It went about as well as that time I tried to dye my own hair, which was also the reason I repainted the guest bathroom. Who knew that permanent hair dye was also permanent on walls and vanities? Apparently everyone in the free world but myself, that’s who.
I digress.
So, in my misadventures I saw about 65% of the other people wandering around in Apocolyptica were obeying CDC recommendations, as I have chosen to do because I’m not a scientist and don’t claim to be, therefore, I will listen to those clearly smarter than myself on the matter.
If only life was that easy, right?
So, as I was giving the look of instant death to the complete morons around me, it seems as though they knew exactly why I was wishing them into an early grave, and simply didn’t give a fuck about it.
Let’s review:
We have been asked to frequently wash our hands, and to cover our faceholes when we leave the house.
Only roughly half of us are doing so.
We’re sending kids back to school. Who, as we all know, sometimes can lose their literal pants between the time we drop them off and the time we pick them up. Also, we’re trusting them to wear a facemask. And pants.
I can see nowhere that this plan may fail.
I am lying. I absolutely can see where this plan may fail.
I’m going to be sitting here with my unsurprised Pikachu face happening if this shit goes south, and I think that we can agree there is a fairly good chance that it might.
I really hope that parents can convince their children to wear facemasks, but after the debauchery that was me picking Carli up from school one day with one shoe on her foot and no clue where the other one went, please forgive me if I have some doubts.