Last year, I wrote a letter to myself for Valentine’s Day, listing all of the things I love and appreciate about myself. The things that others tried to take from me, or make me feel aren’t as important to possess. I love that column and have reread it multiple times because it reminds me of the things I’ve gotten right over the years.
Last year, directly following that column, turned into one of the worst years of my life. There is not a lot to say about it, other than the fact that I have lived and learned. I know where I am today, and that’s what matters. So, again, it’s time for Valentine’s Day loving of myself, and I hope y’all will follow suit.
I love the way I have managed to be resilient in some of the worst situations life could hand me. The baby, my second husband, and the broad he chose over our relationship, my addiction, and every relationship I had post-2012 have taught me that life isn’t fair, it doesn’t go according to plan, and sometimes shit just hurts.
Yet, every day, I get up and I am full-on ready to kick ass. No doubt about it, I came back ready to go hard. I still champion for women, and I am just as vocal as I have always been about domestic violence. In 60 days home, I’ve already helped 2 women with an exit plan, and I like that percentage a fucking lot.
I’m not the me I used to be, and I’m not sure I ever will be again. A huge part of me died in the last relationship, and subsequent breakup, and it was the soft ass part that really wanted to believe in a happily ever after. However, the important parts, the parts of me who get in the fucking trenches, who truly want to make a difference, goddammit they limped out of that tragedy and are here with me today.
I know that one day, I might try again. That isn’t today, and it won’t be tomorrow. But I cheer y’all on like I’m your biggest fan, and it’s because I know you’re good people, I know you deserve happiness. I hope today you don’t have to write your own letter. But, if you do, please include this from me…I think you’re fucking incredible. I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you, and I’m grateful that you’re my friend.
I choose to love myself today, even if I am alone in doing so. I know I’m worth the work I’ve put into myself. I know that I’m better than what I’ve settled for. I truly hope that all of you know and believe the same. You’re worth waiting for, you’re worth working for, and you’re worth all of the efforts you put in for other people. Don’t settle for less, because you deserve more. I know this about myself, and I know it about you, also.
So, Happy Valentines Day, and I love you dearly. It’s not such a bad day if you remember that you’re just alone, not lonely. And if you should need me, reach out, I’m here. I’m always here. It’s what I do.
You are valued and appreciated by a great many people, I don’t think the impact you have on other peoples lives is something you realize. Personally, I love talking with you and knowing you’re out there makes me feel better when things are crap. Also, in my opinion, Valentines Day is a bullshit Hallmark holiday designed to make you spend money. If you need a day to be nice to someone you’re pretty much an asshole. 😊
Also FUCK HALLMARK