Baby Jesus, y’all.
Now, most of y’all know my claim to fame, amongst all my current fuckery, is the fact that I got stabbed like I was being skewered over my handbag, and my ass is still here and still have that handbag.
Because fuck that little wanna-be gangster, that’s why. Should have studied harder, or asked someone who he was fucking with.
I digress.
A woman in Seminole is out for my title though. I need y’all to listen to this crazy shit. She was shot 11 times, still managed to run to the neighbor’s house for help. Granted, obviously it was a .22, otherwise she wasn’t running anywhere, but still. 11 fucking bullets in you and you’re still running to call your own ambulance? This bitch is bionic.
The man who shot her was her ex-boyfriend, who had been charged with strangling her in the past.
Been there. And I’m not the only one who hangs in this forum who has.
However, she is expected to fully recover. He ate the business end of his pistol. There’s no recovery slated for him.
For the folk who like details, 65-year-old Wayne Lovell Dew, shot his ex-girlfriend, who he was charged with strangling in 2016, 11 times, shooting her as she lay there playing dead. She was still living in the house they shared as she sought other housing.
Also been there.
She dropped the 2016 charges, because as we’ve talked about a million times, it takes 7 times on average to leave an abuser for the last time. No hate, no victim blaming, I’ve seen how tough it is, and if you haven’t, you can just take my fucking word. It’s not a walk in the fucking park.
At least, for her, this is the last time. Sadly, she has to live with how it went down, and that’s why abusers kill themselves. It’s a way to avoid the punishment they’re due, and completely mindfuck a survivor.
I can’t in all truthfulness sit here and say your abuser will kill you. Have you checked yourself for bionic powers? Sounds risky, even then. Just being honest.
I happened to know someone bionic, a few people actually, but this one was one of my folk.
I had a friend, Joe, one of my first husbands’ people. His wife’s cousin shot him 9 times, over an altercation with that very same wife, and my boy still walked over, took the pistol from him and pistol whipped that dude to sleep. And that was after taking 9 shots in his face and chest. Every one of them but two center mass. The remaining two in his face. It was a .22.
About 4 years later, Joe and his wife are at a 4th of July party and her cousin shows up. He shot him once in the gut with a .40 and that was all she wrote. Laid my boy down right there in front of his wife and daughter.
RIP, DJ Hands. I miss the hell out of you, dude.
In all seriousness, adrenaline is that joint. They said after I got stabbed, I looked at the kid and said, “did you just stab me, motherfucker?” and nothing has ever sounded more like something I would say, so I’m quite certain I did.
I mean, I saw the aftermath of Joe taking that dudes pistol, and he looked like a Mack truck didn’t skid to a complete stop, hit his face, and drug his ass, 40, 50 yards. And had every fucking bit of that coming too.
Some of you know all too well what I mean when I say that.
I hope anyone thinking of taking someone back after they strangle you is listening. Dude, you’re literally just biding time until he kills you. Your chances of making it out of the relationship alive if you stay are so small, there are better chances of me not saying Fuck in this column.
Tuh huh.
You could get me on the Bitchface line from anywhere in the state of Florida and I could have your ass outta there by sunrise. Remainder of the continental US, listen, you gotta give me a few additional hours.
Unless you’re bionic and feel like you’ve got 11 bullet stopping power.
Probably shouldn’t chance it, doll. Just holler at a Bitchface. I’ll get you rolling.
And while you’re at it, toss up a prayer for the Seminole woman. She damned sure had her shit right with Baby Jesus, because that’s nothing short of being carried out of there by the Man himself.
The LAST thing you will ever be is a marshmallow. You are gangster to the core, which is exactly why we’re friends. 💜💜💜