Look, I have some trust issues.
Yeah, I know I didn’t really need to tell anyone. However, all of my trust issues are because any man I ever trusted punched me dead square in my heart for doing so.
It wasn’t the solid thing to do, but they did it anyway. Now look at me, I don’t even trust my damned self. I count my own money twice less I should lie to myself.
That’s how deep the trust issues run.
Yet, I’ve told myself lately that I’m going to work on this. I’m going to try not to presume that every man I run across is lying because his lips are moving. I’ve told myself that I will allow them to get at least 5 words out of their mouth before I tell them that their khakis are smoldering.
I mean, it’s not going well, but it’s a work in progress. I didn’t expect it to be an overnight success, y’all.
I almost envy these young ladies, so blissfully unaware of the absolute bullshit that their partners are telling them. I said almost.
But I do remember my ignorant and blind days, and they were, indeed, blissful. I just didn’t know any better. I took every man’s word at face value. I presumed they wouldn’t lie for absolutely no reason.
I was wrong.
I’m struggling with my near inability to listen to any man near me speak without wanting to tell him that there are tells people have when they lie, and I am almost amused by the piss poor skills they have at tall telling. But, I have heard that can be considered rude, although I think lying through your fucking teeth is rude, and that’s not stopping these assholes, but I digress.
So what is the happy median between punched in the heart, and declaring a dudes khakis on fire? Where is the fine line that I’m supposed to walk in order to not immediately offend any dude that attempts to speak to me?
I’m not sure, but I realized that I don’t know how some of you ladies do it. I listened to this half-ass two-bit sheister selling a girlfriend of mine a dream last week, and I literally rolled my eyes. In front of both of them. And I didn’t even give a fuck.
I just am unequipped for the dumb shit. I don’t want to hear any of it. If I know you’re lying about everything you are talking about, it’s nearly my civic duty to tell you to shut your lying ass mouth, lying liarface. If I don’t, then who will?
Yet, my girlfriend still went out with the liar. So, in the grand scheme of things, I guess it’s working for them, so why change the strategy? It’s getting them what they want, and they don’t even need to do the work behind it, they just lie and say they did.
Hell, at that rate, maybe I’m doing it all wrong. Maybe this moral high ground I keep taking is just a pain in the ass long way around route. Maybe I should have hitched my skirt up and stuck my thumb out like the rest of you filthy liars.
Eh, fuck it. I’m already doing it the hard way. May as well stick it out.