This Is Why I Don't Take Holidays...

If they catch you slipping, they try to take it to the house.

I’m not quite certain what I was doing at the intro of 2023, but it seems I missed the opportunity to offer money to someone for arson. Of a person. Twice if it were necessary.

Allow me to explain myself, lest y’all think I’m back to violence for no particular reason. Oh, bitch, there’s a fucking reason, and it’s a damned good one.

First class Virgin Airlines passenger Salman Ifikhar, 37, was traveling with his wife and three children, when he lit into a flight attendant, Angie Walsh, at 39,000 feet during the flight from Heathrow to Lahore.

Now, I know you’re thinking this might be some regular type entitled asshole behavior. Bruh. Check this out.

He “threatened to gang rape and set alight” the stewardess, all in front of his wife and 3 kids. This fucking trash ass excuse for a husband and father is of Pakistan nationality, but he resides in England.

Matter of fact, let’s get it verbatim:

‘The first-class meltdown began during the eight-hour flight’s first meal service.

The 37-year-old was downing champagne at the plane’s in-flight bar when he reached over the counter and began grabbing ice for himself using his hands, the Isleworth Crown Court heard, according to the outlet.

The intoxicated passenger, who was flying with his wife and three children, was confronted by the flight crew and told to return to his seat.

Iftikhar turned hostile and accused the crew of being racist.

“You called me a p-ki in front of everybody,” the man yelled.

The irate passenger began filming the flight attendants.

“Do not tell me what to do, you bitch,” Iftikhar shouts before threatening one female flight attendant.’

‘He grabbed one of the flight attendants, calling her a “f–king white Welsh c–t,” before threatening to rape her.

“The white sheep s–ting bitch will be dead. The floor of your hotel will be blown up and it will disappear,” he shouted, according to the Mirror. “You will be dragged by your hair from your room and gang-raped and set on fire.”

Um. Excuse me, British folk, there are certain key phrases which let you know that someone needs a solid fucking ass whipping, like right there on the scene, do not pass Go, do not fucking collect L200.

This. This whole fucking tirade is one of those situations.

You sit your teacup in its’ saucer, fold your napkin and sit in on your armrest, and then you wear this trash ass bitch out until that plane lands. And then you do it again.

If this is the shit he does in front of his wife and kids, I can only fucking imagine the extremes this dude will actually go to when he thinks there is a chance he is going to get away with it.

The thing about those dudes though, they all have one thing in common. Nobody has punched them dead ass in their shit when they start saying anything like that. I have found about 97% of the time, if you bust a couple of teeth loose for them, they shut the fuck up really quickly.

To add some salt to the wound of this unidentified victim though, ‘The violent passenger was free to leave the plane and wasn’t arrested by authorities when the flight landed in Pakistan.

He was arrested over a year later at his $1.2 million home in Iver, England, just outside London, on March 16, 2024.’

Sometimes, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. In this case, I can only pray to Baby Jesus Himself that if this fucking twat should ever try some shit like this again, I’m in the next row back with my fucking shoelaces pulled out and knotted around my fingers.

Bet you every big face hunnard in my Kate Spade this dude ain’t saying any shit like that when he’s fucking gasping for air.

As an aside, Iftikhar is the founder and director of Staffing Match, a recruitment firm. Fortunately for women everywhere, Reddit has already doxed the fuck out of this dude, and it is reflected in the business reviews.

Please, though, do feel free to further document exactly what a lowlife piece of shit the business owner happens to be. I’ve added a few novellas myself, simply for posteriors sake.

-Q