So, tonight, I’m minding my own damned business, as usual. Just doing some of my promo posting on Instagram and Facebook, literally less than two minutes on each site.
Then, buzz buzz.
What the fuck? Here’s what the fuck. It’s some dude I knew when I was in school, and literally haven’t seen since he was shitfaced in a bar I was working in about 7 or 8 years ago.
His engagement was broken off about a year ago. He’s heavily in the bottle about it, because I had to sidestep a few parts of the messages that made me uncomfortable.
Guys, listen, just because you are hammered and you knew someone 15 or 20 years ago, that doesn’t mean she’s going to want to either a) listen to your problems, b) come get drunk with you, or c) send you nudes.
Apparently, he wanted all three. He got option A for about 3 minutes.
We really need an app that will stop people from drunk texting random individuals they knew many years ago. Trust me, I know how it goes, I’ve been in the bottle before. Jesus, though, is there nobody current in your life for you to tell your woes to? Or am I the lucky advice columnist in the bucket today?
I told him he was a nice guy, he would find someone. I told him he shouldn’t drive anywhere, and got the reassurance he wouldn’t. He found someone to take him up on his offer, apparently, so I told him not to make any drunk babies.
My work there was done.
I really hope he adhered to a little of my advice. I know what it feels like to be empty and try to fill the void with anything that will take away the pain and the loneliness. I am struggling at this very moment with not hopping back into an oxycodone bottle. I know what will happen to my life, though. I know that it’s a trip I won’t come back from this time.
Sometimes, it can seem like people from our past, people who knew us before we became so damaged, maybe they could take us back to that time. They can’t. There’s no transporting yourself back to the person you used to be.
You can only move one direction in life. It isn’t backward. You have to pick up your own pieces. You have to pull yourself out of the vise you’ve locked yourself under. No old friend, old flame, or old memory is going to fix what has happened to you.
I hope we’re all making steps in the right direction. I have been in a bad way lately, but I’m lucky, I have y’all to drag me out of whatever sadness still lingers from my most recent failed attempt at love. I’m thankful every day for y’all, because I would have surely been back in a place I didn’t need to be and almost didn’t survive.
Some of y’all reach out to me when shit goes bad, some of you I have to pull it out of you like bad teeth, but I am here. I will continue to be here. There isn’t anything that is going to make me go back to the pills. I’ll tell you this, though, December sure fucking tried.
If you need me, I’m here. If you just want to say hi, I’m here. Don’t drunk text old flames, drunk message me instead. At least I won’t stand up at your high school reunion and tell everyone your problems.