Some Of You Bitches Should Be Cut From The Team...
You're already scoring for anyone but women.
I’ve been sitting on this column for a minute because every time I start it, it’s fucking venomous.
If you know anything at all about me, you know I think hating on other women is the most non-pH balanced, dirty foot look that a woman can have. If you have time to sit around and hate on women, you’re a woman who needs a hobby and a BV swab.
Nasty bitch.
You see? I just get so angry, off rip I’m chewing faces off like Puffin does if you don’t visit with heath bars. My lip is curling up and everything.
If you’re a woman and you sit around tearing other women down because you think you have some sort of moral throne to judge from, see me at the fucking door. I want your card.
*snips snaps scissors*
Yeah. Like that.
Man, if you think I enjoy listening to these horror stories and humiliating myself constantly to show the tiny amount of empathy residing in me, you probably were in the remedial class. It’s cool, there’s a feature that will allow AI to read me to you, no need to struggle, punkin.
I don’t show up to tear women down. Not victim blaming, not fat shaming, not making fun of women in their fifth or more marriage (talking to you, Momma), because there are literally millions of piece of shit dudes, and bitches claiming to be women, who do that a full 7/8’s of their day.
They don’t need my fucking assistance.
Guess what, sis? They don’t need yours either.
Yet, it never fails. Every fucking day, some bitch with her lips bammin about shit she has no business discussing, because it doesn’t involve or affect her.
Do y’all ever see me get my Bitchface tangled up with those granola ass bitches who don’t believe in giving birth in hospitals? Have I been down to the First Presbyterian Church filling up the prayer request box with rap sheet printouts of the youth leaders? When’s the last time y’all caught me at NA meetings furiously taking notes?
I simply stay right here, this fucking lane, and work on elevating women. Not at the expense of anyone else, just tearing the doors off the cages and not asking a single one of you judgmental bitches what you happen to think about it.
In case you weren’t aware, it’s because I couldn’t give a fuck what you think about me. Even a little. A smidge. A fucking iota.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, have a look at what I can only describe as the most sneak diss, Susan from the HOA mentored, “I hate women”, women I have had the displeasure of being literate and fucked up reading, bitches I’ve ever seen. Listen, I almost cussed my Momma out for teaching me to read, it’s made me so angry.
The reason being mostly because of the obviously manufactured concern. Under the guise of being an ally, this bitch may as well be calling women on birth control trash ass, pole-working skanks. My favorite part is where this cunt actually says “I wasn’t sexually active, though”, in reference to her time on the pill to regulate her menstrual issues.
Well, aren’t you just the next runner up for the Ms. Chaste pageant? Let’s see if we can’t hook you up with a tiara and sash, bitch. I’ve got some fucking spares in the supply closet, you shade-throwing foe to the fallopian tube. Let’s get you one and see if it helps you shut the fuck up.
Imagine a bitch so perfect she thinks her use of the same hormonal medical treatments as the broad right next to her is a unique and “non-slutty” version of another woman’s medical treatment.
Fuck you.
I mean. Really. Fuck you.
You know what, I’ll do you a solid. Because that’s the type of bitch I am, I have zero issues helping the next broad.
You should locate a lane. Any of them, take your pick, Emperess of The Matronly Vagina, doesn’t matter to me.
Now, stay right there. Don’t move at all.
Perfect.
Just an observation from an old ass white dude, but in my 67 years, I've met too many women trying to tear another down. I never quite understood it. Chalked it up to envy I guess. I will tell you that one of these type, like the one you mention here comes for my sisters, they will put you out, not just down.
Susan aka Her Royal Vagina, I’m coming to drop a house on you just like I did on your sister….