Good evening, Bitchfaces. Y’all. Sloppy ass hos in the back row, how is everyone?
Tonight, I found myself sucked into a comment section that really had me in a snit. Over on Reddit’s dating advice sub, a man is talking about his new boo. However, she’s just told him she’s about 8 weeks pregnant with another man’s child.
The father wants nothing to do with the baby, but the young woman, 28, has decided she’s going to keep and raise the baby. Ok, cool.
The advice seeker is wondering if he should continue dating the woman, as they seem to have a lot in common, green flags here, green flags there, really fucking green flags everywhere.
Except in her uterus. That’s a red flagged organ if I’ve ever seen one.
Of course, the people in the comments are freaking out, telling him to run, this isn’t a romantic comedy, this is a real live baby, not your baby either.
So, I thought back to my younger days, before I adopted the “no kids” policy in my dating life (or lack thereof. Don’t judge me). Of course, there is a good reason I have that policy to begin with, and that reason is that bitches are crazy.
Not just the women, guys too. It seems once people have a child together, all the usual rules of etiquette and good sense go straight out the fucking window. I have seen and heard it all; couples calling child protective services on one another, kidnapping the kid from one another, families brawling in the front yard. It’s like having a child together brings out the white trashiness in people.
It’s fucking disgusting.
I once dated a guy who had a two-year-old daughter. The mother of the child and he had split prior to the birth of the child. Or so it said on paper. It took about 4 minutes of me being in the picture, and then a woman who wasn’t interested in a damned thing this man said the night before couldn’t find enough things to call him and talk about.
Of course, her tone with me said just about everything I was going to tolerate, and I said as much. It also told me everything I needed to know about being involved with this guy. He obviously didn’t have the proper boundaries in place with the child’s mother, because if he did, she wouldn’t have thought it was her place to police his dating life, as I wasn’t exposed to the child, and that was by request (mine).
I’ve seen enough of my friends, and their crazy ass drama involving their kids. I’ve had to do custody exchanges for my brother. And one of my cousins. And still shit didn’t go according to plan, because it’s like the chance to treat each other like shit and fling accusations and behave like they’re on Maury is just too big an opportunity for these former partners to pass up.
If there is a chance for his ex to scream in the parking lot of his job about his penis being 4” and pencil thin, she’s going to jump at it.
Ah goddam.
Now, these are people who I literally watched marry each other, happily claim they wanted two or three more kids between them and share homes together. Now, this is what we have.
A whole fucking mess.
I’m really imagining the first time the man in the thread has a real nasty argument with prego, how the conversation will be peppered with comments on her being a whore who was knocked up when he found her, and how dare she blah blah when he was so blah blah. Baby Jesus, I can already hear it and it sounds like it just spilled over from the trailer park.
This had to have been written in the trailer park. I should ask. I might, actually.
Just for the sake of the column, of course.
So, post baby daddy from above, I swore off dating guys with children. It’s just not worth the headache, hassle, and drama. It’s just too fucking much, really. However, that leads me to my question. I know some of you currently have stepchildren. Or you’re in a relationship with someone with school aged children. A few of you, actually.
If you had it to do all over again, would you step in and do it the same way? Would you choose the position you’re in, if you were given the chance to start it over from scratch?
What if she was pregnant with someone else’s child? Or he had a woman pregnant, and would soon be a father? For me, there’s no scenario where I could see myself starting a relationship with someone who has a baby on the way. That’s soon to be a little family, and not mine.
I can’t see me taking part in that dramatic comedy.
What are y’alls thoughts? Y’all buying pickles and ice cream? Or are you leaving it for the next guy to do the Maury show with her?
Holler at a Queen.
Nope👏🏻 nope 👏🏻nope👏🏻 All aboard to Fuckthatville 🚂🚂🚂
I was in a longggg term relationship with someone who had 3 kids, 2 of which he had sole custody of bc mama was a POS it seemed. I admired his commitment to them, but it was dumb. I knew I didn't want kids, but they were 10 + 15 when we met so I figured the hard part was done. It was still hard.
That situation you describe is red flag city.