As you can see, Puffin gives absolutely zero fucks about what the fat man did or did not bring to me. She got her bone and her heath bars (health bars), therefore, everyone can leave her alone. She has no further use for us at the moment.
Anyway, Happy Boxing Day to my Canadian folk. I don’t really know much about the Boxing Day situation, but I know it involves zero boxing, so you literally just heard everything I could tell you about it.
Here in The Bay, I’ve nothing that needs to be boxed. Why, you ask? Because I buy myself the things I want and that means all my gifts are fucking awesome. I put Puffins name on some, from Santa on some others. Don’t judge me. If I want to believe Santa was responsible for this Burberry Blush, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
I’m accustomed to doing things this way. To doing things the way I want to do them. I’ve had enough holidays ruined by people who were doing everything they could to turn the day into an argument, or make sure I didn’t come back home until I absolutely had to. I’m so glad I don’t have to do that shit anymore.
I did, however, receive some Tito’s from a guest and for some strange reason it’s calling my name today.
Wait, no. I know the exact reason, so don’t let me bitch up on that.
So, my syndicated column today is raw as fuck. If you don’t know what makes me tick, you damned sure will after this one. That’s the weird part about doing this for a living. I can go right back in time if I read far enough. I have a private portal.
I’m going to go and have a vodka tonic or two and shiver in the Florida Room for a little while. I hope y’all all got everything you asked for. If you didn’t, you can boycott the fat man’s lap with me. That son of a bitch has been getting free feels for years. That shit stops today.
Unless it’s hot Santa. I’m here to let you know, hot Santa can get himself in some trouble trying to get some cookies and milk around here. Ho, ho, ho indeed.
Be down for a late celebration... 8 am sure we both have a couple traditions that will make it a perfect belated holiday. I even read a recipe for Puffin cookies..after a few shots of Titus we could make them bahhha
I got one present this year, and it was from my sister. (To be fair, I don't give gifts anymore because people don't need any more worthless crap.) I usually shop for myself and put them in my stocking, but I just wasn't feeling it this year. I will also say that it sucks to wake up on Christmas morning alone in an empty apartment. (Except for my cat who gets credit for being extra snuggly when it's this cold outside.) This year was kind of blue because I'm craving companionship, but everything else in my life is amazing, so I will try not to dwell on that detail. As for presents, like you, I buy myself what I want and need when I want and need it, so it's all good.