Hello, Bitchfaces. I’m here to shamelessly promote myself and the other work that I do. I know y’all are here because I’m hilarious and could charm water from a desert, however, I do other things.
Have you read my Safety and the Single Lady series? I like to provide personal protection information and helpful links for ladies who don’t have trusted men in their lives to help with things like setting up cameras, range lessons, or dog training. Turns out, we can do all that shit too, because I literally do it, then tell other broads how to do it.
My newest Safety and the Single Lady idea came to us from Mr. Dave Norris, who runs our AaBF Quora site. He’s always looking out for me, because he knows my shenanigans haven’t thinned out with age. I’m still going strong.
Because I love my ladies here, I won’t make you link chase to read the column. If you can’t, or won’t, carry for whatever reason, I can’t make you protect your life as I do mine. However, no gun means get an air horn. Yes, like on a boat.
Here’s why: It’s so fucking loud, it literally temporarily throws a kink into an attackers’ equilibrium. Seriously. Blast that bitch at him, watch him Stumblelina for a few. In addition, it going to draw attention. They hate that shit, because they’re fucking sneaky snakes.
If he regains his composure and is coming your way again, double dose his bitch ass. I mean, it’s not filling his soul with lead, but it will give you a chance to save your own life.
Also, where is your dog? You know, the one you can adopt from the county shelter for minimal fees with their shots and spaying or neutering performed? Your dog is an excellent deterrent, and if you don’t know that, refer to my column from Saturday. Puffin often saves my ass. She’s my Antihero.
This is the general idea of that series, so binge read it. No calories or nasty aftertaste. I won’t tell anyone you gorge yourself. It will be our little secret. Also, be certain to stop in on Quora and say thanks to Dave for keeping us alive another day. That guy is working the late shift keeping me straight.
That’s it for today.
Love
-Q
I won't even get started on the 5 alarm situation going on in animal shelters presently (mostly thanks to housing crisis). But adoption is a great idea for those with the means.
Is Howie still writing? Love that guy
So true. Recordings of large dogs barking works for home security aswell. Incase those precious babies are banned near you