Recently, I had to install an alarm at my house. Oh, and some cameras. And some other things that I’m not going to list here, but let’s just say that I feel as though I’m spying on my damned self every time I use the bathroom. I don’t know if I should feel slightly voyeuristic or like a pervert. Perhaps I feel like I’m a little of both.
I have always taken the proper safety precautions at home. I own 5 very terrifying looking dogs. I have a fence, and I lock my gate. I don’t leave windows open or unlocked. I certainly don’t leave my doors unlocked. I don’t have a predictable routine. I am always carrying a pistol.
Despite doing all of those things to stay safe as a single woman today, some unsavory character has decided to target me for some low rent version of stalking. It’s starting to get costly, and that’s starting to piss me off.
This alarm installation and these cameras? They cost money. My money. I could think of at least 17 pairs of stilettos that I would have preferred to own, but now, instead, I own some cameras that I can’t even reach to adjust, and sometimes I own some footage of cats running across my lawn because clearly they have no respect for their own lives.
Do you know what I don’t own? I don’t own footage of the sneaky bastard letting himself into my Florida Room in the early morning hours while I was 15 feet away in my bed. I don’t have footage of him leaving a stalkeriffic gift designed to frighten me as my “killer” pitbulls snored and drooled in bed next to me. I don’t have anything that will tell me who this asshole is so that I can ask him what his problem is, and tell him we can take it to the front yard and settle this right now.
What I do own is a faulty door sensor that has caused me to lose almost a week of sleep. I own someone at a call center with a shitty attitude because they had to stop hanging out on Redditt for long enough to log my alarm being triggered. I own lots of things that are supposed to be tools for prevention, but when it came right down to it, nothing was prevented.
I am not a timid woman. I am not a woman unfamiliar with a firearm not do I have a pack of timid dogs. That gives me cause for concern. If you know what type of woman I am, that should give you cause for concern, late-night lock slipper. You may have frightened some women prior to me with your shenanigans, but I will warn you, those women were not me.
You see, I have had a real stalker before you. One who wanted to wrap his hands around my throat until he could watch the life leave my eyes. Why? Because in his mind, I was his girlfriend. But in reality, I had no idea who this man was, and why he wouldn’t stay away from me.
That stalker was not some pantywaist jerk who crept around like a rat in the darkness. He was the type that showed up at my job, while I was at dinner with friends, at my ex-boyfriends threatening violence. He was very serious about his duties. You, on the other hand, seem to want to see me tremble, but that isn’t going to happen.
I assure you, Mr. Low Rent Stalker, once you breach the doorway to my home, I’m going to unload my clip into whatever direction you are standing. I think you should know that I can part hair with a hydroshock, so I’m not going to miss. I’m not going to hit a knee. I’m going to hit you center mass, and that will be the end of your sneaking around, trying to scare single women. You will not leave my home on a stretcher, you will leave my home in a body bag.
I am going to leave a copy of this for you on the door you managed to slip last week. For your own health and well being, I strongly suggest that you heed this warning. There will be no second warning, and I have never fired a warning shot in my life.
As a woman on her own, I have a duty and a right to protect myself with the force that is necessary for me to make it through the night without being assaulted in my own home. I will not fail. You have two options at this point. You may avoid my home like it is kryptonite, or you will soon discover that not all women cower when they are engaged in psychological warfare. Some of us rise to the challenge.
I will rise to the challenge. You’ve been issued the only warning that you will receive.