Bitchfaces, how goes it? That’s fucking fantastic, I’m pleased as party punch for y’all. Except you back row bitches, y’all get your own damned party punch. I’m sick of y’all envious hos.
So, as some of you might know, I’ve become involved. I’ve taken a lover, if you will. I’ve decided that this year will be the Year of the Bitchface. Because, yes, I enjoy the way it feels to come here and profess to y’all just how fucking stupid I have been, and how I commit to fucking my life up, one refusal to compromise at a time.
However, this time, I assure you, I will not do things in such a “fuck it all” manner. I lied. That was totally a lie.
I know I said I wasn’t going to try this shit again. And I meant it when I said it. Also, it’s an uphill battle. I’m breaking all my own rules. But, I never got it right with all those rules, so we’re gonna just go in like a fucking bull in a china shop. Or like Meme in a taxidermy shop.
I digress.
Will this mean I no longer write about Fuckboys, because they’re stupid and it’s funny? Fuck no. It means I will write about Fuckboys stupid enough to still try to Fuckboy me, because they don’t care about your relationship status, they care about Fuckboying you and that’s factual.
Will this mean I no longer advocate for women and dogs? Fuck no. I’ll still do the Antihero gig, probably a little better, because the world was pretty fucking heavy on my aching ass shoulders. Maybe I can get some relief. Or a back rub. Or both.
Will this mean I am taking back everything I said on relationships and how they’ll just mindfuck you? Fuck no. I meant that shit, and I’m not walking it back. But, I’m a sucker for love, and that’s something that’s never been hidden as well as I thought it was.
So, cross your fingers, and let’s just assume that when I fuck it all up, nobody here will say I told you so, because that’s fucked up, I don’t do that shit to y’all.
That’s my news today. Thanks for following along, and I hope that I can still act like a normal human in social situations, because apparently, we’re going there.
God help us.
Happy for you, Queen!
🙌🎉
Clearly. I KNOW this is not the Grub Hub Guy! And I'm quite sure I just read 24 hrs ago how you sabotaged the whole damn thing. I guess he doesn't scare easily. Keep him