Per My Selfish Atonement Agenda...
Y'all get some acts of kindness aimed at undoing my early 30's.
So, much as in years past, I will be here on the hotline throughout the holidays.
No, bitches, it isn’t for y’all. It’s to get some of that shit St. Pete wrote down from 02 to 08 revised. That dude is a true and thorough snitch.
Seriously, I know what this time of year is for a lot of people. I don’t care about the reasons, if you were wrong or right, or how many years estranged. I just care that you make it through the New Year, then we’ll all lie to each other and promise to get thin and clean up our credit, just like last year.
Every platform you find me on has a message the author feature.
Bitch, that’s me.
I don’t care if you email, post a GIF, send up a smoke signal, or call in to wherever I’m grocery shopping to get it over the PA, if you need me, I am here.
Please, don’t allow your temporary feelings to cause me to have to kick your ass on the other side for leaving me with nobody to laugh at all my piss poor jokes.
I love y’all. I will listen. I will even tell bad jokes if you need me to.
Just stay with me through the new year, then we can do that dieting shit we’re not gonna do.