Pay Attention, Lazy Bitches
I'll not be repeating myself because you decided you didn't need to hear me the first time.
BMan and I are back on the air tonight. (Oh, Lord)(He’s been waiting for this moment for all his life).
I don’t want anyone to misconstrue the situation at hand. Yes, I’m aware that I’m still banned from Quora for the moment. No, I’m not going to cry about it. However, I am going to write a thoroughly researched column focusing on the sheer number of incestuous and child pornography-related threads and questions that are uncollapsed and suffering no deleted comments, while the fact that I said Bitchface, the name of my Quora approved page, is a problem. I also plan to put that column on every single platform I can possibly have it on, and I’m going to non stop advertise that particular column.
But, no, I’m not bothered by my time out that I was handed.
So, Brian and I are going to talk of what we think post-apocalyptic America will be, although I’m discussing Tampa Bay, and that’s a whole nother animal there. We really don’t feel the same way about emergencies as normal folk, because we have hurricane survival skills that ensure that if I really had to, I could take an Igloo cooler, a pack of matches, and a baby pool full of canned beer and start another civilization on Cudjoe Key. Trust me. I’ve done the math, I’ve totally got that covered. We’re constantly prepared for everything to go straight to hell down here, that’s why I weave all of these nice handbaskets in the spring so that when the summer rains come, I’m ready to leap in one of those bitches and get headed toward the destination point.
We’re also going to talk people we certainly hope had isolation with multiple children who spend all day using the noisiest toys on the planet and refuse to potty train. That, to me, would be the ultimate revenge on some of my shitty exes. Oh, that’s a 4-year-old human being that you’re changing the Pamper on? Oh, yea, because that’s like a grown man went to the bathroom in his pants. It sounds exactly like what you deserve. Here, hand the kid this drum kit, and toy ambulance with a volume that only plays at max for 20-minute increments. Oh, the kid likes it. Oh, that is great news.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns and they aren’t stupid or really stupid, by all means, send them over to BMan. Or email me or message me at any other Ask A Bitchface extension. I own them all, they will all come to me one way or another. Tune in, it will either be hilarious, or you just don’t know funny when you hear it.
I'll be slaving away at work again, but I certainly wouldnt be mad at ya for loudly telling people to get a fucking hold of themselves. The hoarding never really stopped, but since many are flush with government money right now IT has ramped back up with a new energy. We (collectively) truly are our own worst enemies. I've been trying to "look for the helpers", but mostly I just see Covidiots. Do we really need to have an immediate family member as sick as the quarantine day is long before we take shit seriously? And why the fuck does everyone need so much god damn hand sanitizer to stay at home!?!? There's soap there. I know because there isn't much of any on the store shelves. I'm starting to understand the toilet paper crisis because when you do nothing but eat all day, the groceries are going to make their way out the back door sooner rather than later. We are a competitive bunch of glorified primates and I believe this is our wake up call. Let's not fail so miserably.
AND FOR FUCKS SAKE DO NOT GO PURCHASE A TIGER
I’m happy to come by this evening and participate. Just send me a link :)