Ok, Let's Get Down In The Trenches With It...
My people are hurting, and I don't have any idea how to help them.
Today, one of my longtime readers popped up in the submission box on Ask A Bitchface, q/askabitchface. What I read next truly hurt me to my core.
Her husband passed last month. They still aren’t sure of the cause, and he was 40. I said he was 40. In a message between us, I read the writings of a woman devastated. She conveyed to me a love so beautiful, so strong. I cried when I read it, and I cried when I responded.
They have a child in college. One that isn’t quite there yet. And now she is left to navigate this life on her own.
Let me tell you, though, what really makes me want to load up a dog or two and point the bubble Caprice in the direction of my people.
Some stupid bitch had the nerve to offer this as some sort of fucking pearls of wisdom; “I hope he had gotten right with God”. You say what? You hope what?
Bitch, I will slap the taste right out of your mouth.
What in the fuck would possess an individual to try to push their religion into the face of a grieving widow? And to phrase it in a manner that is to force this widow to question the afterlife her husband is facing?
Again, Bitch, I will slap the taste right out of your mouth.
You know, I have a near and dear friend that is in a horrible spot with sorting out the situation with her love and partner, who now requires more care than she can provide.
If someone were to say anything along these lines to my girl, I can assure you that little spitfire would be calling me for bail. I would simply go to the reputable bondsman and drop those funds, baby, because I do not for an instant pretend to understand where these women are at emotionally, but I imagine it must be the scenic route through hell.
My friend who is actually my twin, we just were utero separated, lost her husband not 3 months ago in a tragic accident. Her great love. Her finally found my heart. Her everything. The nights I have cried for her, I can’t count, but they have been many. She is one of the best people, most caring people, that I have known in my life, and this is the hand she was dealt? Man, somebody get the damn dealer, I’m about to throw these hands.
What do I know about a great love? Not much, bitch, but thanks for reminding me. However, I know grief and I know loss, and I’ll be the first to tell you I dropped to my knees in the dirt and tried to take my baby back. Yes, I said that. Yes, I did that.
What else do I know? I know that dumb bitches had any number of “wise” things to impart, when they should have just shut their fucking mouths.
You don’t know how their love was. You don’t know how that woman is still making two cups of coffee in the morning, before the day reminds her that her partner is gone and she is alone and the horror starts all over again.
I certainly won’t pretend to know. But, what I will do is let them know that I am here. I will listen. I will hear everything that they need to say, because I care for them, and I know that this is the most fucked up version of life that could have reigned down upon them. I can’t understand how some of the best women I have the joy of sharing my thoughts with have been handed this shitty ending to such a beautiful love story. I would throw the fucking novel at the wall if it were in hardback, do you understand me?
For my ladies out here with this shit just coming at you from everywhere, girl, I got you. Just get me on the hotline, I’m here all the time. No matter what you’re feeling, or how you need to say it, or if you just don’t want to say anything, I’m here. I’m here, and I’m listening.
I love y’all. I swear to God, we’re gonna make it, ok?
Thanks April! Very well said 💕
Beautiful