Bitchfaces, how goes it? Right. Same.
As you can see from the above photo, I’m not impressed with the headlines tonight. However, let’s talk, shall we?
So, Alex Jones fat ultra-right ass just got the hammer dropped. A billion owed to victims’ families, last check he made about 50mm a year.
Well, that’s disgusting. Who the fuck is paying that idiot 50mm a year, and I can barely wring a coffee out of my checking account. The fuck is really happening here?
Check this out, y’all know MAGA is stone cold tripping over this shit. Conspiracy blah blah, some mo shit. Oh, my Baby Jesus he’s being persecuted.
The fuck? No. Go look up persecution, you dummies. That is not this.
Fat fuck should have shut his yammer, but he had to get a whole legion of right wingers talking about the deaths of some peoples’ children being a hoax. Bro, you’re lucky that’s all you got.
I have a daughter who is gone and buried. You say anything at all with her name in it, I’m liable to jump the fuck out of this chair and hand you something you won’t forget. Believe that. Don’t fuck with people’s babies, especially their babies they can’t protect anymore. When all they have left is a name and a memory, you’re really fucking around with some shit that will get your ass dealt with.
Believe it.
I guess we can discuss Mississippi burning. Listen, I need to do what I should have done a long ass time ago, and just tell people to leave that fucking hellhole. Let me tell y’all a story.
Way back when, in my late teens, I was heading into Missouri from Florida with a friend of mine. We stopped in the middle of Crackerville Mississippi. Mind you, this is me we’re talking about, so I’ve got Smurf blue highlights in my hair, I’m rocking 19 earrings, I think I may have even had a Monroe back then.
So, we go into this little Deliverance ass store, we have to pee. These two asshole teenage boys working say no. We’re like “bro, what the fuck is your problem, just a literal minute to pee dude. We’ll even buy something.”
So I buy a coke, my homegirl goes to pee. 30 seconds later, she’s at my side. “Bitch, let’s go”.
Oh. Shit.
So, as we’re hauling ass out, she says, “they were rolling a blunt on the back of the toilet.” I already knew exactly what had taken place, so I’m Bo Duking over to the driver’s side so we can mash out. Sure enough, they’re running out of the store, and we’re running from lead.
We get down the road not even 2 miles, and a Mississippi State Trooper lights me up.
Fuck. Now, I’m with my homegirl who has just stolen these two redneck kids reefer off the toilet tank, God knows what else may have been in the car, these were my 20’s, I gave no fucks.
This trooper says the kids called in a robbery. Like we had just gone in and tried to armed heist these little assholes. So, I did the only sensible thing and told the man to search the car. No cash, no robbery, right?
Thank God my girl was smart enough to put that pirated sack in the safe, because we would probably have sat in Mississippi a hot little minute. It took everything in me not to turn around and beat the brakes off of those little punk ass boys. We could very likely have been killed. Over a fucking bag of weed.
And it was shitty weed. Fucking Bozos.
So, this gem of a Mississippi tale aside, no good comes of that joint. If you live there, move. The place hasn’t even made it into the 1970’s yet. Seriously. Y’all thought Alabama was backward? It’s a thriving fucking metropolis up next to Mississippi. Honestly, just leave that KKK fucking founding shitville, and go anywhere else. Anywhere at all is better.
I mean every word I just said. Jaheim McMillan, I wish you had the chance, buddy. May you rest without the clowns who trade in racism and hate disturbing your peace. Yes, Alex Jones, I meant you, you fat racist hateful fuck.
Anyway, Bitchface lines are open, holler at your girl. Happy hump day, but if you’re being humped, y’all know not to tell me. I have hang ups.
Had that very discussion with some idigit today myself.
"Nah sonny! *Points and laughs* old Alex ain't even half way to being persecuted by a long stretch, child.
But iffn y'all REALLY ask me nice, I got myself a real live Cat O 9 and a horse whip and I'm got damn sure I can work something out so y'all can legit claim persecution.*Eevil wink* *Eeevil Grin*
When the little twat protested I told him to come talk to me about "persecution" at some point AFTER ol Alex was swinging from a tree like some kind of strange fruit.
He promptly shut up and left at that point.
The idgits are all kinds of in their feelers and I, for one, truly and deeply wish they'd engage their damn brains for just half a second before popping off.
But..*sigh* no such luck.
I have some in laws I’m about to roll up in bubble wrap and duct tape, rent a U Haul and drop off in Mississippi this weekend. 💜💜💜