Bitchfaces, I’m not sure how familiar you are with the bible. I am a reformed Catholic myself, have that whole situation with the Big Man happening, hence the angel wings tattooed down my back. God knows, I’m getting in.
Familiar or not, you may have heard of Jesus, pissed like nobody’s business, flipping over tables in the bazaar, scaring the shit out of some little wanna-be flea market mavens. Do you know why?
That’s right. Idols. False ones, to be exact. Meaning deities that were not him or the Big Man for sale in the local market de flea, and if there is anything that Jesus and His Daddy can’t stand, it’s some other type worshipping ass bitches.
So, Jesus is cold tripping, all, “who thought you could sell unto thee without the blessings of Je?”, and whatever. Big Man in the sky, just waiting for some suckers to trip, because this bazaar would have become a sepulcher, and I ain’t talking tomorrow. Shit was hype.
So, in Virginia, in a former church, in Boones Mill, just in case you want to wait for the lightning strikes, the funniest shit is taking place. Oh, wait, I meant sacrilege. Sacrilege is taking place.
Bobblehead Trumps, and other flea market worthy bullshit, being sold inside this little tabernacle to these Christofascists, and I just wonder, where is Je? Because if ever we needed some table flipping, it’s over this fucking mutant idol.
The fact that nobody is drawing any similarities between the two is absolutely mind-bobbling to me. Nod yes twice if you see what the fuck I’m saying to y’all.
Moving right along to other religious and stupid people, an online cult run by a sex offender who did 18 years in a Georgia prison has now been linked to six missing people in St. Louis.
This is just a brief rundown, as I plan to full on break this down with BMan on our adjacent podcast, also named “Ask A Bitchface”. Currently seeking sponsorship from Je.
The child molester turned rapper running the University of Cosmic Intelligence, and I’m not even joking about any of that statement, Rashad Jamal calls himself a messiah, and the absolute greatest part is the young women who are missing all brought their 1-, 3-, and 5-year-old children with them.
Mother. Fuckers.
We’ll revisit this shit, fam, because you know Brian and I have a fetish for cult talk. It’s fascinating, the news of the stupid.
As an aside, congratulations to our first active-duty Miss America. Madison Marsh from Colorado is gorgeous and could kick your fucking ass from sound barrier splitting altitudes, so please make way if you see her coming through.
That’s it for today. Holler at me, or send me some footage if you see Je flipping tables.
-Q
You see me nodding, right?
Hilarious, girl.
Just love you girl!! Love the pic! You look gorgeous!