Let Me Jump Right Off With This...
No, I am not fucking high, but y'all ain't finna believe this shit.
I really don’t even know how to fucking say this.
Last night, I did something I have never done in my life.
I called the fucking cops.
Now, ho, ho, ho, ho hol’ up. I have not become Susan with the HOA. Of course not, be fucking serious.
However, I can now go full blown with my other shit I do, because as it turns out, I can call the cops, tell them my whole fucking name, and some more shit.
What?
Am I fucking high? No, wait, we already established that I’m not. Maybe we better call them cops back and double check.
What?
Here is the second thing I never thought would come out of my mouth in this lifetime. I spoke with the Licking County, Ohio Sheriff’s Department, and one of their city departments, which I’ll withhold for privacy reasons. Several times over the course of the night, allow me to add, so they didn’t just toss the concern.
Both departments were some of the most professional, helpful people I’ve spoken with in my adult life.
Yeah. I said it. If you’re gonna do some field sobriety shit, now is the time. There’s no fucking way I’m not high right now.
Look, as it turns out, I’ve reached the point in life where when I give my name and occupation, it not only gets results, but people are sometimes overly helpful. Even people I wouldn’t speak to before, with or without a warrant.
I don’t care if it’s because of how it was presented, or because of the press credentials I very purposely sent over with my ID. It doesn’t matter one way or the other, every cop I dealt with bent over backward to help me help a minor in trouble.
I am so thankful that was my first interaction with LEO’s since leaving Lowell.
So, this leads me to my point. It looks like I’m fucking invincible now, and I’m not sure I ever wasn’t. For all of my ladies I have had the pleasure of talking through some of the tough times with, I hope that I was able to be as fearless for y’all as I am feeling today.
I have never had a single fucking problem kicking in the door and yoking out whatever woman, child, or dog is being mistreated. Now, you mean to tell me I can still be the Bitchface I’ve always been, and I have the support of the badged sector?
Biiiiiiitttttccch.
PSA, if you’re beating your wife or dog, I would immediately stop and fucking repent. I’m finna be like 3 of me. Surely you don’t want that. Think it through.
Y’all know I’m with the shits.
Okay, first off. LICKING COUNTY???? Is Salad Tossing street in their jurisdiction? What about Butt Fucking Boulevard?
I'll with hold any deep and abiding questions *chortle* I may have about Licking County (whilst acknowledging being slightly warped and just pleasantly twisted) and how it got its name to say that it's better than likely you have a reader or three amongst the ranks there..
Either that or you've found your MoJo.
Mayhaps both.
Regardless, I'm proud for you and happy the sitch is working itself out with the aid of the folks in blue.
Just saying.. not all your fans are vocal sorts like Yours Truly.
Also thanks for your sticking to your various missions. It does a heart good!