I can tell you what I won’t do.
I won’t sit here, pretending to focus on anything else but really just lost in thoughts of you.
I won’t lie to myself and say I miss you
I won’t tell myself you would say something if you missed me, that, clearly,
You’ve better things to do and I think it’s time I did as well.
I swing like a pendulum, sure of us, then uncertain,
The constant uncertainty, its’ own momentum, and I don’t have the strength to stop it.
I think I need to just back up off of it (and sit my cup down)
But honestly, how would I fill my time if I put this on the shelf for now?
I don’t do hot and cold. I don’t have the on and off.
I’m all in or all gone and I just wish you would be the same.
Who are you talking to like that?
Like I’m something, like I’m nothing,
Like this is anything.
Just stop.
Just check the other shit at the door.
I’m too far left of center to keep this up.
I’ve left my orbit. I need to get back.
Your free verse is emotionally wrenching (and the herd scattered when I started sniffling 😢).
❤