Is This Really What We're Accepting Now?
You need only to be single with a pulse? There are no other qualifications necessary?
This morning, I see a post to the Ask A Bitchface open-submission forum. It’s a joke, a waitress is waiting on a man in a diner. The man says it is his first meal on the outside, he just got out of prison for murdering his wife. The waitress responds “oh, so you’re single then?” Funny, yes, but why is it funny? Because there is so much truth to it.
I know many women of this mindset, sadly. It doesn’t matter that the guy has no job, his vehicle has been repossessed, there’s a warrant out for child support, and he’s sleeping on his best friend’s couch. He’s single. End of discussion.
I can’t say enough that it absolutely makes me sick to see some of these ladies parading these lowlifes around as though they’re some sort of prize. Honey, he is far from the last single man left on Earth, and if he were, I would just give up altogether.
Yet, here they are, her paying his way while he contributes zero to her, her household, and to society as a whole. And this, somehow, has become an acceptable societal norm. I clearly am missing something.
I’m no relic when it comes to the role women play in society. I work 18-20 hours a day myself, and I value female financial freedom. However, just because we have the ability to finance our households ourselves, does that mean we’ve signed on to finance any fuckboy that gives us the time of day?
Has the decent guy become such a rarity that we now need to settle for anything with a heartbeat, penis, and status of single? I can’t believe the pickings are this slim, ladies.
I know, right off-hand, no deep thought necessary, five great guys that are single. They have homes, jobs, some have degrees, no drama, and no children. And they’re not actively dating anyone, because they’ve voiced their own set of concerns to me. They seem to only meet women who are still on and off with their children’s father, or they can’t or won’t keep a job, or they’re raising 3 kids in their mothers or grandmother’s houses.
Why are we overall presenting only the low hanging fruit when people are looking around in our orchards, singles? I have been single for a substantial amount of time, and because I refuse to internet date, I don’t even bother to look into dating at this point. I flat out refuse to play the “send me nudes” game, so I’ve taken an indefinite break from dating.
However, I’m aware of more than a handful of people that are internet dating, and they’re having the same problem. The only conversation is “hello”, and after that great icebreaker, requests for nudes or nude photos of the other person are the very next message. Do we honestly lack the ability to maintain a conversation for more than a brief intro before it’s right to the showing of the goods?
Maybe if we stopped sending nudes to everyone who said hello to us, we could find a better quality date. Someone a little more put together than couch surfing single guy from earlier. If we stopped accepting the very minimum effort from people, perhaps they would step their game up. I mean, it seems they would have to, right?
In an effort to not go home alone again, we’ve given someone a pass to be basically a bum. We’re allowing people to skate by with the absolute bottom barrel qualifications to date us, and it’s setting one hell of an ugly precedent. This has to stop, y’all. This can’t be what good, decent single people are now tolerating just to stop having the bed to themselves.
It’s time to bring back an actual standard for dating. Ask someone what they bring to the table before you let them sit and eat up all of your groceries. Ask them about their goals prior to squashing your own to keep them from feeling insecure about your successes. We are the only people who can demand better for ourselves, so why aren’t we doing it? Why are we taking the low hanging fruit before we look around the remainder of the orchard?
If enough single people decided that the bare minimum qualifications just aren’t cutting it and demanded an actual checklist be met, people would need to be more than just a decent nude photo. I don’t know about you, but I can’t introduce a nude photo to my family and friends. I can’t take a nude photo out to dinner with me, or to my company Christmas party. My nieces and nephews certainly aren’t meeting a nude photo, or being taken to the Saturday matinee by the nude photo.
If it isn’t enough in real life, why is it enough to get a date with us? Or, even worse, get a commitment from us? Shouldn’t we be asking for what we want in a partner, then waiting until someone comes along that actually has some of those qualifications? If these people were applying for a job, and all they could supply was a nude photo, they certainly wouldn’t be walking away employed. But, it’s enough to walk away with a date, a commitment, a newly minted significant other?
We’ve really got to do better, singles.