Anytime you hear, “Finesse….2 of’em” around my office, there’s no question. I’m most certainly doing shit a federal agency would frown upon, and I have no plans to leave my pink rolling chair until I have a complete dossier.
I know I said a little earlier this year that I was going to lay low until we had a firm grip on the targets of these potato brained asswipes in charge, but did y’all know that shit is fucking boring and causes me to become antsy?
That’s really the last thing we want. When I get antsy, I wind up doing shit that results in documents that start with “The State of Florida vs. April Hawkins”.
We’re going to just stay in the damned house and make fun of Ron DeSantis and his soulless wife so if anyone asks, I can point to the column and clear up any confusion immediately.
Since we’re on the topic of that fat, punchable face belonging to DeSantis, this week he has waged war on the rainbow crosswalk that is a Pulse Nightclub memorial. Literally had his fucking goons come in the middle of the night and paint it black. Just like his wife’s soul, and it was received about as well by the community.
DeSantis said in response to Smith's video, "We will not allow our state roads to be commandeered for political purposes."
Per Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, "Political banners have no place on public roads. I'm reminding recipients of at USDOT roadway funding that it's limited to features advancing safety, and nothing else. It's that simple."
However, don’t ask about that big ass confederate flag that sits off of 75 that is such a fucking distraction I’ve seen people sideswipe other people staring at the eyesore in the sky.
Also, don’t ask about the big ass billboards across North Florida that advise not banging your daughter, but if you do, adoption is available, so who needs abortion? Who cares if the infant looks like the fish from the nuclear power plant retention pond on The Simpsons, it’s cool, someone will want it for sure. Absolutely.
In other news from the mouth of that fat piece of shit, it seems immigrants aren’t being fed toasted hoagies while being detained. We’re not certain what triggered this meltdown, but DeSantis vehemently denied the detainees access to “toasted hoagies” while in custody, and it looks like he’s really going to lose his shit if he catches one enjoying the cousin to the submarine sandwich.
Untoasted hoagies aren’t yet in the hot seat, but it’s simply a matter of time, it seems. Immigrants need to cram those sammiches now, because there’s no telling when this free for all in the bakery will result in serious consequences.
Lastly, DeSantis marched right onto the podium in his high heeled boots last week to declare war on “woke” textbook companies, claiming they were overcharging Florida and “noted concerns he's had with the textbook materials as well, saying their content is not "aligned with our standards."
This was at a news conference in St. Cloud, ironically, which happens to be one of the most openly anti-immigrant areas in my neck of the woods. Legit, they are so fucking ignorant about everything over there and you couldn’t get me to respect the opinion of anyone in that backass swamp if I were paid to.
This should clear it up, though.
“At the time, the department described concerns with textbooks, including "prohibited topics" like critical race theory. That year, DeSantis signed the "Stop WOKE Act," which restricted how race is discussed in schools, college and workplaces.”
I can’t really believe this clown is in charge of this state. I wouldn’t trust this Bozo to be in charge of my garage sale, yet here we fucking are.
Christ help us.
-Q
I just never thought we'd be ruled by people who were so insecure and petty. I think those are the only people running for office anymore. This is a very undignified timeline.
I've been on many lists in my life as a rouser of the rabble.
Don't care.