I'm Fixing To Drop Some Shocking News...
That's a fucking lie, it's the same thing I always say. I am done trying to try to date.
Ok, welllllllp…where in the fuck do I even begin?
Guys, y’all know me. I speak openly about my life. I give it to y’all straight because I don’t have the patience or the time to dilly dally around the obvious truths in life. Part of that statement means that I have spoken often of my own mistakes. I have told y’all of the errors in my steps, the blunders, the out and out fails. I own that shit. It’s a part of who I am.
I have been off of oxycodone for over 5 years at this point. I kicked that shit on my own and it was the hardest and most painful thing that I have ever done. But I did it. No methadone, no diminishing doses, I woke up one day and simply said “ok, that’s enough now”.
You’re damned right I’m proud of that. I had friends dropping like flies around me. My own sister overdosed on opiates and if you think that the gravity of that situation is lost on me, you haven’t heard me when I speak.
However, I haven’t before had my past, my distant at this point, past thrown in my face like some Bozo just had the nerve to do.
Y’all know I bartended as a first and second job for a combined 20 year period. I’ve known a lot of alcoholics, but I try not to voice my distaste for some of the shit that they do, because if we’re being honest they paid my bills for years. The repeater thing my father used to do, and my drunk ass neighbor currently does, that shit gets me hopping mad, but the rest of it, I can generally deal with the behavior of a drunk because I am not afraid to put a bitch in their place, and swiftly.
But the thought that someone being an alcoholic is tossing stones at my house because I had an addiction to something just as legal as the alcohol they’re guzzling and slurring around? Oh, I have to hear the dumb assery behind this fucking moron thinking that they have an opinion about me.
Friends and neighbors, this sauced up sucker had the audacity to pop up in my life and tell me that I “am part of an unsavory crowd” and “nobody with any decency would ever date me because of it”. Yes, boys and girls, because of an addiction I kicked 5 years ago, I am a part of the criminal element, and good men would not piss on me if I were on fire.
The fun doesn’t stop there though. Because we all know how those drunks can’t ever shut the fuck up.
Evidently I am disgusting because the Fuckboy King and Grindr cheated on me, although the reasoning for that is a little hazy because even I am not that fluent in drunken asshole. I’m fairly certain it was supposed to be some tsk tsk, and I should be ashamed of myself for letting everyone in the world know that these morons had been unfaithful to me. I guess I was supposed to just hush and clutch my pearls and wring my hands.
Sssssssss….looks like that isn’t going to occur. I was supposed to be humiliated into silence. I was supposed to live with that horror inside me and shut my trap and be a good and genteel Southern lady. Don’t y’all know that?
I’m going to say this once and only once because everyone knows exactly how I feel about repeating myself.
I am not ashamed of the life I lived that made me the woman I am today.
If you have a problem with the woman I was or the woman I am, I need you to take a number. Now, grab yourself a seat in the back row with the rest of the hateful, nasty bitches that are waiting for me to give a fuck.
Sis, you walk proud, with your head up, rockin' those stilettos, because you are a strong, awesome, quality woman! You do you, always and unapologetically, and anyone too stupid to not see and appreciate that doesn't warrant you giving a fuck. *steps off soapbox*
I'm so tired of judgy fucking people 😡. Sigh, slinking back into my quiet space before I snap.
People in glass houses should not throw stones. And I have never seen a clean glass house, y’know what I’m saying?