I know that I said months ago that I would go over to Medium and handle the stories that no longer need to be there. I said I would hide them away, that I would make that part of my life cease to exist.
However, I think I’ve found a better use for them.
Remember how happy I was back then? How hopeful? Well, that shit sells, people.
Unlike my usual bitching and moaning, I was constantly walking around with some stupid ass smile on my face, just really thinking life wouldn’t come along and kick me in my ass.
How fucking stupid.
So, I’m editing the stories to remove the old details, and I’m submitting them to the love story publications I always said I would never be in.
Because I may not love the idea of love any longer, but I still love money more than anything except dogs. And my fans. Y’all are the shit.
If you’ve been with me for any length of time, some of them may sound semi-familiar. However, I would appreciate it if you act as though you don’t know where it came from.
Thanks.
So, for tonight, here’s your first semi-rerun. Enjoy.
This Is Where I Bring My Heart To Heal…
Most of the stories I tell here are the ones that really fucked me up.
On the surface, I write humor. Just ridiculous shit that tends to keep everything light and inoffensive.
Of course, I have a few fights that I will always engage in. However, when it comes to flat out saying “man, this shit fucking hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I had been punched in my chest”…
I tell those stories on my personal Medium page. This is the reason I didn’t initially bring the Ask A Bitchface brand over, I just felt as though I needed a place to come and sit in my sadness sometimes.
Then I caught myself doing something the other night. I found myself avoiding coming over here because I knew, at that point in the Fuckboy 5.0 Emotional Rollercoaster, I would be in the fetal position for the better part of a day if I came over and read the confirmation that I have, indeed, learned nothing.
So, I am pretty excited to have a corner of Medium that will be my usual fuckery, and not simply the shit that wounded me so deeply that I can’t openly publicly discuss it.
There are officially only two stories in my life that I will never take public. However, there are pieces of other stories that I leave out, because they will make me stop at that point, excuse myself, and leave the room.
I will still drop the worst of the worst here, in my own private hell. But at least I can think of coming to this forum and not immediately think of being choked until I was unconscious, or the day Derek moved out of our home and I knew 20 years of my life was officially over.
The shit that hurt me so badly I’m truly surprised I lived through it. The shit that really reminded me I was a human, and how fucking bad your heart can really hurt.
I swear, I’ll go back to funny now. I’ll be your fucking Bozo. But if you go pilfering through the other side, don’t look at me funny for the emotion you find there. Trust me, I wish I never felt any of it either.
Love,
Q
Follow "This is why I'm single" on fb, it's a page I go to when I grieve the loss of the relationship & i am reminded there's a tribe of us out there! Xox😘💞