Today, I spent a little time looking at the progression of shit. Reading the highs and lows is surreal for me at this point, now that I’m finally on the other side of it.
A year ago, I thought I had found my forever. I thought I had found the rest of my life.
As it turns out, not so much. So, much like a clinical trial, I have the notes to show me where everything fell apart, and I can prove the hypothesis and move right along.
When I read some of the columns, it was like I could hear the things I wasn’t saying. I could hear the undertones of the story. Things I didn’t even know I was saying then were written there all along.
One thing I noticed is I’m much funnier when I’m just cruising along, minding my own damned business, cracking inappropriate jokes about shit that really has no level of funny ascribed to it.
I’m not sure why that is. I don’t know how I lose my sense of humor in the course of a relationship, but maybe that’s my tell. Maybe that’s me trying to tell me that it isn’t okay, that the vibe is off tune, that something is amiss.
Perhaps I needed to edit my damned self.
That being said, I’ve been doing some editing and shifting and updating of things, so if you see anything looking off kilter, send up a smoke signal and let me know I’ve managed to completely fuck it all up. Y’all know my technical skills are on par with the Flintstones, so I won’t be surprised if I tear it all completely the fuck up.
I just need to hide some of the really hurtful ones, you know? Some of the ones that still make me tear up, I don’t want to see those again.
Other than that, it’s business as usual here. Thank y’all for sticking with a Bitchface in the times of upheaval, and still kicking it in the comments in the times that are good.
Y’all are the real MVP’s.
Tomorrow, same time, same place?
Okay, it’s a date.
Glad you’re back!
Psst.. (It just might serve you to hang on to those ugly ones too).
Sometimes the best help we can offer folks (or ourselves) is letting the process of tripping over my own damn clay feet to bust my face be seen.. along with the recovery process.
It's also a useful record for our own selves.
Jus saying.. it might serve you to not start ripping shit up.