I Really Like Santa A Little Gangster...
Because, truthfully, all that breaking and entering? Yeah, Santa can tell you what the lick reads...
Y’all know I have a thing for gangsters. Always have, more than likely always will. I have no interest in wholesome dudes doing wholesome things at the intersection of Boring and Lame.
However, if you asked me to sit on the lap of this dude, I would probably do so, and then go on to tell him all about how I didn’t get a pony as a girl, and surely there was something he could bring me that would make it all better.
You see? That. That right there is what happens when I get near a gangster. It’s a real thing with me.
Home invasions aside, I will be doing my usual holiday thing. If you have nowhere to go, or even if you do and just don’t want to go there, I’ll be here in The Bay. I always take in strays, and on holidays that means I’ll even take the 2 legged version.
I know the holidays can be really rough. It’s easy to get lost in our memories, lost in the places that our mind drags us back to. I have been there. God knows, I’ve been there. I’ve been a fifth of Tito’s and 4 xanax deep, asleep at a red light, wondering how long I had been sitting there passed out not too many Christmas’ ago.
That was a rough one. And there were others just as bad, just as far from okay as I’ve ever been. But I am in a place where I’m okay. I’m not the best version of me that I’ve ever been, but I’m fucking solid, and that is a great look for me.
So, much like every other year, if you are near and need a place to feel like family, you’re welcome here.
If you’re far and you need to feel like someone is with you, I have the zoom on the phone and laptop. I’ll even refrain from telling “that’s what she said” jokes while we’re talking. It’s that serious to me.
I don’t want anyone feeling alone. I’ve been alone, and alone is a deep place to be pulled into. Don’t even put your toe in the water, it’s got a rip tide happening, you’ll be a half mile out before you get your bearings about you.
Y’all know how to get a Bitchface on the hotline. I’m much easier to find than Puffins leash, which somehow she manages to hide 4 days a week for a total of around 92 hours weekly searching for it. I can’t make the holidays any smoother, but I can tell you stupid jokes and Puffin will bark at nothing in the background, you know, like she always does.
Everyone just keep treading water. We’ve got this all the way through to the New Year. We’re looking good as a unit.