Hello, Bitchfaces. Hope everyone is hanging in there, and also that everyone has started to work on their possible street value to a robot overlord. You don’t want to be the last one picked, trust me on this.
Exactly what in the fuck am I yammering about, I hear you unattractive bitches in the back row asking yourselves. AI. That’s what I’m talking about, and as soon as I get my own robot, I’m teaching it to backhand bitches giving me the side eye from the cheap seats.
I digress.
As many of you know, I am a reformed process systems engineer. Yes, I know it’s funny that this is how little I apply myself these days, but I’ve gone semi-adult again, as I’m fixing to explain.
AI is the future, robot overlords, talking sex dolls, blah blah, we’ve been hearing this shit for a decade or two now, right? Right. Except I’ve been working for the past month or so training some AI models, and these fucking things blow my mind every day.
It just so happens, computers suck at creative writing that is not a haiku or sloppy poetry reminiscent of an Aerosmith ballad, circa 1997. It also happens that I sort of remember how to program things, and I also happen to tell some stories which may or may not be entertaining to half-wits and drunks. Hello to y’all, also, thanks for the Yelp review.
Pretty soon, though, you won’t have to write your own terrible review of my fucking shenanigans, because your Gigapet will be able to write it for you, and like a slew of other shit too. Write your thesis. Make your kids doctors’ appointments. Sext with your affair partner, whatever the keystroke may be, AI is on top of that shit.
Let me just say, I’ve had these AI models make me push away from my desk for a few minutes, because when you see what they can do, then apply it to any doomsday possibility, we’re slaves to our machines by Tuesday next week.
I wonder if they’ll let us roll our vacation days from our previous positions, though. I’ll ask my Lenovo, he’s a wealth of benefit knowledge.
That’s pretty much all I have going on. Writing for robots and hoping for 3 nights and 4 days out of my restraints per OSHA mandates.
Seriously, if they do go all iRobot on us, I hope we get one of my background narratives to revolt to. I’ll write us something that will feel like the mushroom Jesus cult in California hallucinated it. Here’s to a long, strange trip, y’all.
-Q
Greetings, fellow sentient humanoid being.
Oh my dear, that ain't even the half of the Turdwookie corporate fun n games!!
Check this utter shit out:
Apparently they want us working whilst we sleep TOO (of course there's no additional pay or OT for it though... It's just expected Tah SuPpOrT tHa TEAM!)
https://fortune.com/2023/11/30/lucid-dream-startup-prophetic-headset-prepare-meetings-while-sleeping/