I Know I Said I Wasn't Going To Cap Cupid...
But, much like my ex boyfriend, I didn't mean a fucking word I said.
I told myself just a few days ago that this year, I wouldn’t be sitting around avoiding the TV because of the number of jingles and soundtracks that are agonizing. I can’t listen to any shuffle feature, for fear that some of my 90’s R&B creep me, and I try to dive off of my 1st floor fucking patio.
It appears as though shit has not gone according to the plan. Big fucking surprise.
You know what kills me? All those years that I spent alone, I was never lonely. Not one time. It was simply a fact of life for me, alone. We were intimately acquainted and alone wasn’t a one hitter quitter. Alone is a long term type of lifestyle.
Now, now that I’ve been absolutely mangle me Elmo’d by what I thought was my partner, I can’t seem to stop thinking about how absolutely alone that I am.
I’m alone in the morning. I’m alone at 11am. I’m alone when the mail runs. When the kids get in from school. When their mama starts screaming at them to come in for dinner. Alone on the weekends, holidays, including the shitty ones like Flag Day. Basically, you name it, I don’t have a partner in it.
Not only do I feel absolutely lonely now, but it has also made me renew my resolve to never fucking put myself through this again. Let me put this in writing: if you aren’t literally Jeezy or that kid Ryan I had a crush on all the way through elementary and middle school, you got no chance in hell of me even glancing in your direction. Also, that kid Ryan is currently married to a man. So that should let you know exactly what the fuck kind of serious I am with this.
For the record, Ryan’s husband, no, I don’t want your man. Don’t get finger snappy about it when I see you at Publix, okay Pookie?
Jeezy, I meant exactly what I said though.
So, if you don’t have a Valentine, and you need a bitter, angry Bitchface to talk to about it, bitch get on the damned hotline and tell me your little tale of how love beat the brakes off of you and then spit in your face. I am well versed in the matter.
I still have some spittle across my cheek. I won’t wipe it away sheerly for the principle at this point.
Man, fuck Cupid, and fuck this ignorant shit we’re calling love these days.
I had to go to work so kind of a distraction but not really due to all the fucking roses and complete strangers saying Happy Valentines Day. How insensitive! Meh...its over, don't have to think about it for another year. As for you - enjoy your drama-free solitude, it really is comforting most of the time.