So, BMan and I were talking on Saturday, as we have been known to do. Of course, I like to ramble on about whatever has made me angry in the time since we last spoke, and this time it was women being chained like junkyard dogs in men’s homes.
Take, for example, the case in Houston last week, where some wanna-be rapper kidnapped a pregnant woman, drugged her with crack, chained her in his garage, and this continued to be the routine for four literal years.
People, I can’t point to exactly all that’s wrong with that paragraph. What in the fuck is going on around here?
Then, in Kentucky, some low rent mama’s boy has the cops called on him by his mother, stating the asswipe and his “girlfriend” are fighting. Cops respond and find a kidnapped, out of state, teenage girl chained in the fucking cellar. I don’t know if the mom was as dumb as a goldfish, or dumber.
Guys, look. If you feel like you would like a girlfriend, but no woman is willing to hop into the role, here is what you don’t do:
Do not kidnap a woman.
Do not kidnap a teenager.
Do not drug the woman with crack.
Do not drug the woman with other drugs.
Do not chain women in your home or outbuildings.
Do not chain women in your cellar, attic, or bunker.
If the woman wants to leave, escort her to the door. This can be where the Uber or taxi awaits her. Fucking voila. Successful dating with a real woman involved.
If any of this seems difficult, perhaps you aren’t ready to date currently. No shame, I’m known for long periods of “get the fuck out of my face”. I get it.
Let’s not try to recreate The Collector, you Leonard Lake knockoff douchebag.
Fuck, man, how hard can this shit be?
-Q
Being a Tennessee Hill Country boy with a, perhaps, slightly over developed sense of Quick Karma, I can tell you precisely what's wrong with that paragraph...
Dudes didn't catch a .40 or a hunk of boiled cotton rope hung from a tree.... Or get his-self fed to the nearest hog.
I can think of some other valid punishments but we'uns in mixed company here, so I'll keep it reasonably polite.