I Keep Hearing The Same Thing From People...
And I'm starting to get a little irritated at the implications.
So, I’ve been home for a little while now, and the more I see people, the more often I hear it.
“So, are you okay…like, are you seeing anyone?”
I must have heard it 20 times the other night. As my life is public, everyone knows the last time was a fucking train wreck. So I guess people want to see if I can manage to wreck another fucking train.
It seems their favorite thing to tell me is the old adage “you know you’ll never get over someone until you find someone else to get under”.
First off, yuck. Secondly, I’m absolutely certain that I can get myself together all by myself. I don’t need to completely fuck up another human being to unfuck myself.
If I were to just randomly select a person to sleep with, that’s allegedly supposed to heal me? That’s supposed to take away all of the memories?
I highly doubt it works that way.
Besides, I’m sort of waiting for someone. No, not that disloyal dick.
The only person in my general vicinity who has never wanted anything out of me, just thinks I’m the bees knees and wants to make me smile.
Unfortunately, he is a soldier and that is the life he loves. That will always be his life. Which means I’ll always be a half a world away, with a proof of life photo saved in my phone, and hoping I’ll hear from him sometime soon.
So, I’m not alone because I’m not over ol’ whathisname. I’m still alone because my someone is out saving the world.
I’ll tell you, it may not be ideal, but I’ll take it. He’s worth it. There isn’t any doubt in my mind that I would wait here forever if I needed to. And, no, it isn’t that I’ve allowed him to become some giant, omnipresent protector of my heart so that I don’t move on.
Trust me. I’ve thought about it. He isn’t a gatekeeper. He’s just the only person I know worth the hassle. He’s really, actually worth it. I mean, he saves people for a living. And he takes out bad, bad men for a living.
I’m actually making myself a nervous wreck because he’ll be home in a week or so. And I just keep thinking “I hope I am the same as he remembers”. For the last five months, we’ve been pictures and voice clips to one another.
So, I don’t want to think on it too much. And I haven’t mentioned him too often. God knows how I overhyped the last one, and I just can’t go there again. But if anyone has ever deserved the hype…it’s that fine ass man in the photo above.
And he saves women, children, and dogs. I know, it’s hot as fuck. I’m not mad, you can say it.
I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing. Focusing on my work and waiting but saying I’m not. It’s worked out pretty fucking well until this point. Hell, it’s certainly been a deterrent to my usual Fuckboy laced idiocy. And that ain’t bad for me.
But when he gets home, I’m taking a few days off. Because, look at him. Bruh. Stupid bad fine.
Get it girl!😏
Enjoy your time with him!