So, there’s a little girl who lives on the next street over who doesn’t seem to understand that screaming as though you’re being murdered is for occasions like when you’re actually being murdered. This is not a once a day thing, or even a ten times a day thing, this is an all fucking day thing.
Yesterday, I said to Puffin, “we can’t even pay anyone to kidnap her ass because they’re for sure fucking bringing her back”.
Like, 15 minutes tops.
Anyway, this is how I know the little jerks are out of school again. I thought we went to year-round school years ago, but my neighbors tell me that isn’t the case. So, I’m looking forward to this loud ass child keeping me awake for the next two months. Fantastic.
It got me thinking, because the child has no parental supervision during the day, as I’ve been told by my neighbor. As much as I say I want nothing to do with these kids, I also don’t want anything to happen, but I would play hell trying to differentiate between the all day screaming for nothing, and screaming that would happen if someone actually did try to yoke the child up.
I don’t know how people can afford kids now, really, but I know I was always the adult supervision anytime we were out of school. Which is hilarious, because I’m not even good adult supervision now, and it was just a shitshow. Still would be if you got us all together, my brothers doing that goddam windmill shit they do to me, my sister trying to keep us from killing one another. Remind me not to attend gatherings with those jerks.
Once, my brothers and I lit a book of matches on fire in this big crystal ashtray my mom had. The heat blew the ashtray into fiery pieces. Which caught the table runner on fire. Which caught the entire coffee table on fire.
My sister was not pleased with our shenanigans. However, I can restore a fucking coffee table like it’s nobody’s business. And flush a table runner in pieces down a toilet.
Those were the days.
So, if your loud ass kids are home without adult supervision, I hope you have a plan that includes someone more responsible than I was at that age to keep them from doing dumb shit.
Don’t forget that a good safety plan starts with your own home. Probably should have some cameras with alerts if you leave your kids alone. Also, tell them kids you don’t have to answer the damned door just because someone is at it. Hell, I can be sitting on the couch looking right at you through the window, if I said I’m not home, I’m not home.
I don’t know. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure how myself and my siblings are even alive. Like, we did the dumbest shit. Halfway across the city on a bus we were not supposed to get on to go places we were not supposed to go. Just stupid shit, and I’m all of 11 months older like I know something.
Probably just us though. No reason for y’all to worry. They say these kids these days are much smarter, what with the internet and all. I’m sure they can YouTube how to keep themselves safe. I’m going to YouTube it myself, as a matter of fact. I’ll let y’all know what I find.
Happy season of screaming ass kids all day. I’ll be in my Riffs if anyone needs me.
Love-
Q
Ah yes, i remember my fascination with setting random things on fire in my youth .... mmmm burn-y good times
But also, what's with the abundance of non-stop screaming kids? Were they always like this, and I'm just now noticing as i inch closer to crotchety old crone stage of life?
As a child, it never once sounded awesome to me to scream bloody murder for no reason 8 hours straight.
I swear, just the other day in fact i witnessed a wild child in the playground across the street, just running in circles screaming his fool head off, then he stopped running, threw some rocks and screamed at the rocks... Like, i know their brains aren't fully developed yet, but come on..
Then again, i did all kinds of dumb stuff, so who am i to judge?
So April, how do you feel about 4" Gorilla Tape as a babysitting aid? I know my babysitter would have done someone in for a roll or three.
I jest, but maybe not quite as much as folks think...
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