I gotta get a fucking grip today.
The feels? Pssssh. I ain't had a use for them since 1982, and that was a fluke too.
See, this is the problem with giving any kind of a fuck about anyone.
Hope. Hope is a killer. It really is. It will incapacitate you. Not if you let it, it’s going to find a way. Hope is what drags your ass around by your heart.
I was just fine. I was cool with being me, me, and then some more me.
And then hope happened. And hope is a killer.
So, even though I’m the me I was a few weeks ago, for some reason it’s not the same. It’s a less happy me being me version of me. A me that’s trying to say that maybe this isn’t enough. That maybe I should be trying to be not a me, but a we.
A month ago, the thought would have made me laugh. Side gripping, full-on, belly full of jelly laughing. But today? Like the thought should even be entertained, I entertained it. Like Bozo, I entertained it to damned death.
Don’t ask me again why I don’t switch it up. Why I don’t even consider shit like this. This is why. Do you hear that? That’s all that shit I fought so hard to not feel anymore. That’s why.
Let’s never discuss this shit again.
You are a Titan , A Saviour, An Engineer, You are Willful but not thoughtless, You can express yourself in a variety of ways, and, You have faith in a higher power, But ultimately, have faith in yourself and who you are without an emotional attachment to a relationship.
" You awake every morning ready to
fight the Demons that left you so tired, through the night, and that, my love, is bravery."
❤️