Hello Bitchfaces. Y’all. How is everyone today?
Fantastic.
So, I cried like a little bitch today. No, you nasty bitches in the back row, nobody has finally knocked me down a peg. Keep dreaming, bitch.
There are a handful of y’all who I just call my old timers. You’ve been with me since the old days, the me and BMan days. Long before I really knew what I wanted to do with this, before I started writing the book, before I ever even came here to Substack. My old Quora group.
You know who you are.
There’s no fucking replacing y’all. There just isn’t. Y’all are the poor unfortunate people who I go out of my way to aggravate. If I don’t see you on one of the platforms for a couple days, I’ll come looking for you. Y’all know it.
Because you’re my team. You’re my friends. And you’re not allowed to leave me, because then how am I going to know I’m getting it right, or wrong for that matter?
New folks come and go, and that’s cool. Hey y’all. But if I say something about the old days, they won’t get the reference. They don’t know why some of the shit I say is so keke funny, because they didn’t see the trainwreck as it unfolded. Y’all were there. Y’all were screaming at the conductor to slow down as he took that turn, but nobody listened. That’s my life.
A long view at a quick derailment. Lots of screaming. Some folk in hazmat suits. I know this.
It could be a plausible explanation, and I could leave it at that. But, I’ve done this thing where I took my train wreck and I got my whiteboard and I started running the numbers. How can I use this to tell some bitches their conductor is an utter fucking psychopath? How can I apply this to a future hazmat team?
Turns out, I learned a thing or two. Now, applying it? Fuck no. I’ll probably never do that, not for myself, anyway. But I can run them numbers for you so fast. Like, “Bitch, what are you doing? You surely must see that man is going to clean out your savings and leave you and your child destitute, right? I can’t be the only one seeing this. Here, look at these figures…”
And, of course, in my Superhero gig, I believe it may have saved my ass a time or three. Maybe a couple other asses too, but that’s not for me to tell. I just enjoy the ride, really, I like fresh starts. I like the way the sun looks in a new kitchen on a Tuesday morning when nobody is smacking you around. I like sitting cross legged in the living room floor with someone who doesn’t have any chairs yet and sipping coffee out of the paper cup stash from the glove box.
I like the way hope feels, for anyone. So, I vampire that shit. I’ll come and roll around on that living room floor with you and your dogs and no furniture and just love the shit out of it with you. Because that’s the best feeling. That’s really and truly the best part. When you absolutely know, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, you did this. You did everything they said you couldn’t, and you’re going to be okay.
Duh. I fucking said that like 57 times in the car on the way here.
However, I digress. Today, I got friend mail. From one of you OG’s. And when I tell y’all I cried like a bitch, I’m talking full on Puffin staring at me like “Bitch you better dry it up and get them cookies out of the box or I’m biting you” level of crying. Because not every day is today. I don’t always have friend mail. Hell, a lot of days I don’t even feel like I have a friend.
But the good days. Man, they’re so much better than good.
So, if you wondered if you make a difference to me, if I think about y’all or wonder about y’all, the answer is “all the time”. And I already know I wouldn’t be this without those of you who believed in me. That’s well documented. But, I’ll tell you just the same. I think y’all are the fucking bees knees.
Sabrina, these cookies taste like fucking freedom and angel kisses. Thank you so much, sis.
Love,
Q
This made me smile!
I've followed you for a while, starting on Quora...but i never really interacted..you know me, being all skittish and whatnot.
But it's really something to see how far you've come. You done good, sis ❤️
Love this for you 💌