Morning, Bitchfaces. I aint’ got shit for the rest of y’all. Take it elsewhere.
I thought today was going to be better. I had some funny shit, did some videography Meghan has been beating me mercilessly about. It was going to be fun.
Fuck fun.
Sunday afternoon, a Detroit police officer, 26-year-old male whose identity isn’t yet released, shot his significant other, Detroit police officer, 22-year-old female, also unidentified as of now. After he killed her, he killed himself.
Their baby was in the home, unharmed. A relative has the baby.
This was in Livonia, a suburb, and I have actually been to this very neighborhood, strangely enough. It’s not a bad neighborhood. It’s your typical both people working, trying to build a family neighborhood.
The type of neighborhood where you will expect a few neighbors will give interviews about there being no signs, they seemed like a normal couple. Nothing to see here, folks.
We know that’s false. We know that’s nowhere close to the truth.
Abusers who end up killing their victims are a predictable group who are only unpredictable in terms of when they’ll end up causing the death of their partner. Everything else, I could generally give you a play by play of how the shit goes down.
When we spoke of this same scenario here a year ago, it was Hillsborough County deputies, right here in my back yard in The Bay. The young female deputy, Abby Bieber, decided to end the relationship with someone who, unfortunately, had kept most of his abusive history contained.
This meant he was able to blindside her with violence on a weekend trip, in the company of two other couples, in what any normal human would assume would be the safest way to break off a relationship. Safety in numbers, right? Never go alone. Always take a friend, preferably a friend with a large gun. Isn’t that what I’m always preaching?
Abby did that. She did the “let’s just chill out, we’re around others, we’re just going to go our separate ways in a few hours, no harm, no foul” attempt. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been informed of the long and violent history her murderer had in tow, because his ex-girlfriends were afraid to speak out against a cop.
An abusive cop. It’s okay, I corrected myself.
Had she known that, given she had worked domestic violence calls on duty, she probably would have known he would take what should have been an amicable break up and turn it into some outrageous humiliation perpetrated on him.
That’s the way abusers always take it. They can break your face, pull your hair out in wads, beat your children and kill your pets, but God forbid you air out their dirty laundry by breaking up with them in front of people, so they don’t kill you. The fucking audacity.
No part of me will be surprised to find similar circumstances in the case in Detroit. Probably a history of domestic violence. More than likely isolation attempts by him, probably an escalating pattern starting to emerge. And I definitely won’t be surprised if it is said she was going to leave him. Because nobody leaves an abuser. Not in one piece, anyway.
We already have one similarity. Have a look at this.
Yea. That happened. The very same thing that happened on Ms. Biebers’ write up, and I am not ashamed to admit that I sent a scathing email to the writer and his low rent ass editor. I’m also not ashamed to admit, yes, I’ll be doing it again today.
This isn’t a “my job is too much, I can’t handle seeing the atrocities, the pressures are just too much”, scenario. This is the same as every other domestic violence turned murder in this country. The abuser was losing control, he knew he was losing control, and he killed his girlfriend/partner in a last-ditch effort to be the asshole running the show.
That’s why they don’t just let you go. That’s why you can’t just break up with them. They’ll show you. They’ll teach you to fucking humiliate them.
If any of you are in a situation that has the hallmarks of abuse; yelling, name calling, financial control, isolation from friends and family, tearing you down emotionally, the list is thick, but I can provide it in the entirety if you are unsure of your own situation. If you believe you’re in a dangerous or abusive relationship and you need help to safely leave, hit my logo on any platform you read my column. I will help you. I promise you; I don’t care about your situation or the circumstances that led to this shit you’re in today, I will help you.
Reach me at thequeen@askabitchface.net, askmsmacon@gmail.com, get me on Quora, Reddit, Twitter, anywhere you see my logo, that’s me, tap it and let’s get you moving. Time is of the essence.
Please. Please don’t be someone I have to sit behind the screen and weep over. I’m doing it now, and I hate it. I hate it because I’m just looking for the words, the magic words that will convince you that one more day might be too many. Please don’t stay. I’m so very afraid for you.
Please just leave now.