This job is so fucking laborious. You know, if you consider talking shit at an alarming rate and pissing off the general public laborious. I sure do. Exhausting, actually.
Nevertheless, I am back again. If I told you I was not starting a dedicated column to Ron Desantis, I would be lying, so there’s that. Yes, I fucking know I’ve already been asked not so nicely to refrain from writing about what a coward ass bitch he is, but I feel as though that was really just a pre-request.
A prequest. And that’s not even really a fucking word, so, if you’re speaking goddam gibberish to me, that’s not my fault.
Stupid ass. Get the fucking sammich out of your mouth, I could probably understand you. Here, gargle with some of this gay flavored water I picked up at Disney. It’ll rinse all that elitism right out of your mouth.
This shit honestly just gets more unbelievably outlandish by the day. Meghan and I were talking about it last night, and we’re both just at the pearl clutch and hold moment. Like, are these people in real life saying this shit? Out loud?
I almost feel like I’m in some alternate universe right now.
Did a grown ass man just infer that the water supply at Disney made you gay?
He did. Ok. Well.
Was that grown ass man an actual member of an oversight board and acting as an advisor to the Governer of the fucking State of Florida?
He is, and he was.
I see.
I think you should just read that again, maybe several times, until the absolute idiocy smacks you in the face, like it did with me.
Right. There it is.
Yep. Stings a little, I know.
I may be getting too old for this shit, because if it were me, I would have literally reached across the table and grabbed dude by his lip. It’s well proven you cannot talk dumb shit when someone is trying to yank your lip from your face.
Ask me how I know.
My momma had 5 of us, that broad could shut you up in less than an eighth of a second. I proudly inherited those same skills.
That’s all. Probably going to end up with a letter or two. I’ll put them in my album. Right behind the first one that elitist pricks campaign sent over to me when he completely fucked the State of Florida’s citizens with that waste of an unemployment system and had babies starving as he blamed the end user i.e. the taxpayer.
I can barely type this column and I could have built a better system for a third of what they spent. I’m fucking serious, it took six attempts to get that last sentence finished.
Still. One third.
If y’all looking for me, I’ll be showing up randomly to furiously take notes anywhere he may be spouting off, really pushing that Naziesque blogging bill into necessity. I’ll consider it an honor and a privilege to be detained by the Reich- fuck, I meant Governers security staff.
I don’t know what happened there. Fuhrian sli- dammit, I meant Freudian slip. Freudian.
I swear I did.
-Q
Just wow! Our ex governor (Maryland) refuses to run and your guy is eyeing a promotion. A Chinese curse is wishing interesting times on someone and things are sizing up that way. Thanks for some insight from inside the Sunshine State.
I simply cannot.