The picture above is me at my heaviest. 180 pounds of me. Yes, I know.
I was right at Corey and I being through. Heavily drinking. And not in a good place, although in this pic I was in a great place, my homegirl Kendras’ house in Jax Beach.
Today, I talked via the interweb Gods with a young lady who has a “fiance” (we’re gonna use that so loosely) that not only allows his friends to crack fat jokes about her for the weight she has gained during the last 6 months of not being able to leave the damned house, but also joins in with them as they laugh at her.
*cue the fucking sound of the record scratching*
Look here, I have been in bad places about the way that I look. I have been through times in my life that I wasn’t taking good care of myself, and I knew I didn’t look as though I was.
I have never been at a point in my life where my guy made fun of the way that I look, or let his friends do it either. That, to me, is straight punch a dude in his throat territory. It’s the ultimate in disrespect.
It’s like this, if we’re together, I’m going to spend a good majority of my time telling you exactly how adorable I find your dumb ass to be. It’s just a thing I do, usually because I’m with adorable dumb asses. However, there will never be a time I’m sitting around with my homegirls and I tell you “hey dummy, get your cute but stupid ass in here and chat with the bitches”.
I would never lay that type of disrespect on my dude. And, basically, that’s what this dude is doing to the girl. He’s taking whatever he deems to be her fault, and just having a heckling good time at her expense.
My answer, of course, was that dude no longer has a fiance, he has an ex that is me packing my shit up and walking out on him.
And because I like to have a factually intact statement with community approval, I asked BMan how he felt about the scenario. So you know my ass isn’t wrong, BMan wholeheartedly agrees with my assessment of the situation.
Fact: If a man will embarrass and disrespect you in front of his friends, he is not a man. He is a Bozo. Drop his ass, because grown men don’t act that way to their ladies. Teenaged boys act that way.
Fact: If the Queen of the Fuckboys tells you a man is out of line, baby, that man is waaaaay out of line, because I have accepted some disgusting behavior out of men.
Look, it’s like this: you can fluctuate in weight, and that’s just something you either address or you don’t, that’s not my business, it’s your body. But how you treat people, that’s something about you that is a deep character flaw if you think that hurting people in that way while giggling like a teenaged bitch about it with your friends is okay. It isn’t. And it makes you a piece of shit.
If the girl were my friend, I would have been at the door, telling her to grab her go bag, and on the phone with BMan as he was telling me not to knock that pussy bitch out. Do you hear me? Like, there’s no planet where this is acceptable. It’s abuse. And I can’t let that happen on my watch.
So, to you, Nichole, I say this:
Girl, you can gain and lose weight. It happens (see Ms. Macon in her depressed fat days above). However, you must love yourself enough to know that if he will abuse you about this, he will abuse you about everything. He simply is not a good man. I am asking you with all the power of a Bitchface, heed this warning. You turned to the interweb for help, and I’m giving it to you. Walk out on him. Call whoever in your life is the Bitchface, and walk out on that man.
It will only get worse from here. He has just opened the door to using what bothers you to hurt you. Leave him today.
Any of my people out there who are taking this type of shit off of someone, I urge you to stop. Stop allowing someone to treat you in a way I wouldn’t even treat my boys. Seriously, I called one fat boy the other day, and I felt so bad I apologized. To my dog. Yes, I did.
You don’t say things like that to people you care about. You don’t use the things that hurt them to fuel your jokes.
Please stop accepting this type of behavior as love. It isn’t love. It’s abuse.
This right here covers the whole shebang..
"But how you treat people, that’s something about you that is a deep character flaw if you think that hurting people in that way while giggling like a teenaged bitch about it with your friends is okay. It isn’t. And it makes you a piece of shit."
There's nothing more to be said on the matter. Nut him.