Ho, Ho, Ho, Bitchfaces, and I ain’t talking just the sloppy ones in the back row. It’s Christmas, so get your ugly sweaters on, and yuletide carol, or whatever the fuck you introverted ass individuals do these days.
I have been the sickest Bitchface on the planet for the past week and am just starting to feel alive again. It seems it was just the regular ass flu, not some crazy Covid offshoot, but it felt like I got hit by a bus. Twice.
No worries, I’m back and just as bitchy as always. Maybe more so, give it a day or two. Only time can tell.
I hope all of you get everything you want from Santa. I’m not sitting on that fat bastards lap anymore, because he never brings me anything I want, and Puffin is going to get me into it with animal control if she bites one more fat man on the ass.
She’s not a fan of those who make list and check them twice. And I wouldn’t call her naughty if I were you.
I’m here through the holidays, as I always am, because we all remember when Florida Man beat his wife with a Christmas tree. People, if your drunk ass baby daddy can’t handle his Jim Beam Black, snatch his Christmas bonus before his second trip to the liquor store or pack the kids and their new toys into the car for a road trip to Aunt Meows.
I’m here if you need me, or just stop in to say hello. Just don’t show up with all that sleigh bell ringing nonsense. I have neighbors, and they don’t give a fuck about your magic ass deer.
Merry Christmas.
Love
-Q
In the Christmas Spirit, I offer y'all my second favorite Christmas tune of all time...
Santa Lost A Ho (Uh Oh!)
https://youtu.be/zstIIfa1qMA?feature=shared
Merry Christmas and a happy new year! 🎄☃️