Y’all, the day we have dreaded is upon us.
Someone has infected the furburgers, and I am highly pissed about it. That’s not to say I don’t wish most of you well; I do. But it isn’t going to be life altering to me if one of you comes down with bronchitis this week.
Get your ass some Panera Bread soup, some antibiotics, and we’ll see your face when it isn’t full of snot.
But the dogs are sick. The dogs, our best friends, the biscuit eating, barking at nothing, stealing dirty socks from the laundry, dogs are sick.
Motherfucker.
You are officially supposed to avoid dog socializing circles as of this column date. That means no park to sniff each other’s asses; you’ll have to stay home and do that because there may be strange dogs at the park.
Don’t let your dogs carpool to the office; they have no business at the after-work watering hole for “just one, honey, I swear”, before coming home to vomit on the rug and drink from the toilet.
Covid style social distance your best friend, basically.
Now, for Puffin, this changes nothing. Puffin hates every single person, dog, cat, squirrel, lizard, child, and bicycle that she’s ever had the displeasure of meeting. No need for her to mask up because she doesn’t waste her good oxygen panting in public places.
It’s not her style.
But, if you have a labrador, or maybe a corgi, yeah, mask that bitch up. Don’t let it come over here and lay some hot, infected breath on my Puffin girl. Matter of fact, I don’t even want to see your Typhoid Fido off leash, sis. Please don’t make me get sharp with my syllables and be overly cautious with these fucking hands.
If your best friend forgets to cover her mouth and gets my good girl sick, I’m afraid I’ll have to take this fucking rolled up newspaper to both of you. Play fetch at your own risk, basically.
Now, sit, so we can go over what merits a vet trip.
If your dog has runny eyes, a cough, or is doing a lot of sneezing, you need to crate up and head to the vet. The illness is being touted as pneumonia, and it is said to be highly dangerous and often fatal.
No kennels, groomers, boarding, speed dating, or ball pits for your best friend. Just stay out of the cesspools, and call your DOG M.D. if they exhibit symptoms so you can try to get in front of it.
If it even seems like a remote possibility that you may have an infected pooch, get an appointment with your vet STAT. This is not the time for dilly dallying.
-Q
For people I'll, I highly recommend hot and sour soup.
2C Beef or chicken stock
2C water
1/4 - 1/3C cider vinegar
Fresh garlic clove chopped
2 thin Fresh ginger slices chopped fine
1/4C Soy
Add in mushrooms and carrots and onions to taste (fresh of course)
Simmer 15 minutes
Mix 4T cornstarch in 1/4C water and stir into soup.
Beat an egg like a red head step child and slowly stir that in.
Simmer 5 minutes and serve.
It'll cure what ails you.
https://sheltermedicine.vetmed.ufl.edu/2023/11/27/mysterious-respiratory-disease/
Nothing in NJ yet but we live on pins & needles. It could potentially wipe out an entire shelter.