I know the difference between
Breathing because you want to,
And breathing because your body simply won’t stop.
Instead of comforting, the rhythm
Is too steady, too intrusive with its demands
As though I’m not allowed to lay here in this bed and just cease
All activity. Just lie still.
Today is less like a punch in the heart, more as if
I cut my breastplate open and removed it to hand to you.
And, just as artfully as everything else you do
You ground your heel into my ventricle.
You stood directly on my heart.
Perhaps that’s too dramatic.
Perhaps that’s a little too much.
Let me rephrase it so you can understand, maybe
All I wished for yesterday was my lungs to seize.
Are you happy now?
Does this make you smile?
Fuck this horrible, laborious forward motion.
I just want to forget everything.
I wish I could just forget everything.
If only life would let the forgetting begin. Hugs.
Amen my bitchface!! I wished for 3 things
1- for my daughter to not let my parents control her so i could finally meet my 6month old granddaughter
2- i wished to never wake up again ( which i would never do anything to make that happen)
3- if i had to wake up today that i could get a full night of sleep
Oh fucken well i have not achieved any of these things!! Where the hell is my bottle of wine???!!