Florida Man Doesn't Take Holidays...
Who the fuck is gonna beat his wife with the Christmas tree then?
Lord, have mercy.
Richard Atchison of Fruitland Park was asked to help make dinner. Clearly, this was not going to work for him, as he was already busy getting drunk.
After throwing a temper tantrum because his wife tossed a spoon into the sink, causing him to be splashed with water, he starts packing up a bag to get his drunk ass behind the wheel.
Instead, he decides throwing his wife out for requesting he assist in the cooking of the fucking meal he is going to eat sounds much better. So, he goes in and starts drunk ass babbling to get her to leave. She refuses and he picks up the fucking Christmas tree and throws it at her.
Somehow, Ol’ St. Prick manages to hit her with it also, but I think this is like cornhole after a 12 banger. Strictly luck at this point.
He then blocks her from leaving the residence, although I’m fairly certain he just told her to leave right before the launching of the evergreen. Am I right, hold on let me scroll back-
Yep. He just told her to leave, but apparently, he’s changed his mind. Fucking drunks. Jesus.
In case you were not aware, that’s a kidnapping charge, asshole. You can’t stop them from leaving, and you can’t take their phone. Now you’re on that felony shit, dude.
This shit is just. Ugh. I’ve seen this shit in action more than once.
People, please fucking be careful. If you know your partner is spending their bonus on Jim Beam Black and he gets an attitude two drinks in, clear out. Go to your mama’s, your cousins, I don’t care. This is what ensues.
If you already know how it’s going to happen, just get in the car and go. Let it happen without you there. Abuse is bad enough, you add alcohol to it, and people end up beaten with Christmas trees.
Let’s do this one more time, y’all. Hit me on the Bitchface line, hit my logo anywhere you see it, I’ll get you out. Emergency call the cops, or the fine folks at 800-799-SAFE if for some reason you feel like you can’t get the cops involved. I’m not judging, I just want you safe.
An alcoholic fueled assh****?
I miss Florida Man stories just a little. I miss the "winters" far more. And don't' even start about it'S cOoOoLd