Hello Bitchfaces. Y’all. Dirty bitches in the back, what’s happening.
As most of you are aware, I’m all for giving some dumb fuck enough rope to hang himself. Matter of fact, I actively encourage it because I know it’s going to be good for a laugh.
Enter Ron Desantis.
Now, normally, Ron Desantis entering anything would be enough to make me nauseated, however, this fucking Bozo has done it now.
I’m sure you’re all aware his “don’t say gay” agenda has been pushed all the way to the back of our heterosexual only throats down here in The Bay, but this fucker may have bitten off more than he can masticate. He has decided it’s Down with Disney, and that’s because they’re gay, apparently.
Actually, it’s because of the overwhelming number of Disney employees and supporters who really don’t give 3 hot fucks if Mickey is non-binary, they just want to hang with the big mouse, and not have this type of shit be an issue.
Well, many moons ago, Disney became its own entity in Florida. They police their own, they mind their own, they govern their own. Disney is Disney. Fuck around at Disney, go to Disney jail. Disney cops will arrest your ass in a very friendly fashion, and without any sort of scary shit in front of the kids. It’s remarkable, actually.
Now, Desantis has decided, enough of that. We can’t have a corporation policing itself, arresting violators with nobody being shot in front of the kids.
Enter the Osceola County Sheriff’s Department.
Oh, this is so fucking good I’m practically salivating. Here’s why Desantis is buying his own ticket out.
Do you know how much fucking money it takes to police Disney? I mean, millions upon millions annually. Millllllllions.
And, yet Desantis somehow believes that Osceola County will be able to do this policing, with zero cost to the taxpayer.
Now, I’m no bitch with an advanced math degree, but I’ve got my whiteboard, and this shit ain’t adding up. Not even close.
This is just too good.
There is actually a Disney owned town, I forget the actual name, but my homegirl and I call it Perfectville. Trash picks up every morning promptly at 9, bins hauled back by 9:15 or you’re in hot water with the Disney police.
All the children walk to the perfect school in their perfect uniforms, escorted by their perfect mother, and their perfect dog. It’s so perfect it hurts to watch. So we used to ride through there smoking weed and just pointing out all of the perfect things, completely in awe.
You can’t bring Osceola County Sheriff’s deputies to Perfectville. Someone is going to be very out of place. Matter of fact, they’re going to be very out of place anywhere in Disney. Scaring the children, harassing the dads trying to drink beers around the world, ticketing the trolleys.
This is going to be so fucking good. I’m honestly just tickled right now.
Within a year, Disney will pull up stakes, Florida economy will tank, and Desantis will be gone. Just as I knew he would, taking everything he possibly can in his evil little talons all the way back to the fiery pits of hell.
Either that, or he’ll have to back down and eat his words.
So, anyway, when Desantis makes it back to hell, let’s get some extra gay Disney action happening. I haven’t worn my glitter halo in ages, and I’ve really been looking for an excuse.
I’ll see y’all there. You can’t miss me, that halo is the shit.
I’m freaking dying…. This flaming asshat launched a war on DISNEY????? Please, please, oh please, let him hurl a grenade at Scientology next! All that will be left of that fucking fool with be teeth, hair and eyeballs.
Is the town Celebration?
I've never been, though I've heard about it...seems a little Stepford Wives-y.