I read a column yesterday that talked about the New Age Fuckboy; the “Emotional Vampire”. Basically, the Fuckboy who strings you along for whatever emotional assistance you’re lending him.
You could have a Fuckboy who is starved for attention, or one who had his best friend move away, or whatever in the actual fuck is making your particular Fuckboy maintain regular communication with you.
However, just because you hear from him on a semi-regular basis, that doesn’t mean you mean a damned thing to him. Now, if he sends you a pic and you don’t tell him how attractive he is, he may get upset. However, that’s really just proving the point.
They just want someone to tell them they’re pretty and listen to their fucking stupid ass rhetoric and pay attention to them when they feel a little lonely.
It’s not going to grow into anything. You won’t be writing in to tell me how a “relationship blossomed over the course of blah blah”. It didn’t.
I’m not going to be reading about how he woke up one day and realized how awesome you are. He won’t.
These New Age Fuckboys, ladies, are what I have referred to as the Fuckboy 5.0. Remember when I was fucking around with 5.0? Life would just be going swimmingly, then he was gone for 2 weeks. It was just his regularly scheduled programming. When they need someone to hang out with, hang on to, or hang out to dry, you had better know, sis. They ain’t calling because they suddenly had an Epiphone.
They just need a placeholder. A space filler. A warm body. This is what Fuckboys do. Except these days, they aren’t even driven enough to do it for the fucking. They seriously just want you to pat their head and tell them they’re special.
Let it get even slightly hinted at that you have feelings, hopes, or daydreams about anything involving them, that 5.0 is going to be on vacation. Maternity leave. The Space X flight. Anything to get distance between y’all so he doesn’t have to man up and say, “look, I only call you when I need you, you’re not welcome to do the same”.
The Fuckboy 5.0 is basically your homegirl that only calls you when she’s broken up with her boyfriend. When they get back together for the 5,011th time, she’ll forget the plans y’all had, like usual. This is the male equivalent of that friend.
You don’t wanna get your feelings wrapped up in that shit, sis. That’s not gonna end well. Just sit that down, go on and leave that alone.
If you have doubts about your Fuckboy 5.0, ask yourself some basic questions:
If you need someone to talk to, can you call him?
If you need something, a ride to the tire shop, help finding a lost dog, a quart of milk when he’s heading over to eat half of the dinner you made, can you ask and rely on him?
If you tell him something, does he remember it? Does he know the basic layout of who you are as a person?
If all of the above aren’t “yes” …drumroll, please…
You’ve got yourself a Fuckboy 5.0, sis.
Just sit it out to the curb, hopefully someone will pick it up before the trash man comes in the morning. Or see if you can get him to fit through the flap at the donation box, but I don’t think they’re that flexible.
Whatever you have to do to shake loose of it. Just go ahead and pack up whatever you have left of your cheesy poofs, send the baby Juicy Juice with him, whatever it takes to keep him quiet on the ride. And when you get there, make sure he takes everything out of the car with him. You don’t want him to have a reason to call you again.
And this is why I stay safely in my own little bubble...until such time as the Fuckboy 5.0 (and every other version/model) is obsolete. I'm so not prepared for the relationship games of today. Empathy, compassion, caring are weaponized to be used against a kind and loving heart. I just can't exist in that space, and alone seems to be a much easier, less painful choice, even on the loneliest day.
👍Spot on girl!
But, (there’s usually a *but*with me & also I’m shit at putting into words) perhaps it’s down to today’s shitty society that gets worse with each generation & now throw away relationships seem to be the norm.
Not much work is put into relationships nowadays, things like *sex & the city* saw to that & now Tinder & the likes. A lot (not all) of women are reading/watching the wrong material, ie you’re not getting this if you don’t - “do/do not/use this,” & social pressure from a young age for both sexes to fit in or else.(sorry-NOT sorry, I’m old school & 2 sexes, so - -🖕)
The amount of girls/women who approach men & make it clear what they want & some can be rude/insulting or aggressive if turned down, don’t get me wrong, I have no problems with the polite, just 1-nighters not my scene. Fuckboys/girls are just wired that way or go with the flow, get bored easily, (swipe right is it?) get it elsewhere or move on sometimes within minutes.
Sadly, it effects the vulnerable, serious/committed person who think they’ve *got a catch* only to be let down by these failed abortions!
I’m deffo’ not perfect & *TW@* that I am, like others have stupidly given 2nd, 3rd chances seeing only the good.
More to write & upset people but my wrist is killing, (Ooh-err missus & your dirty minds)😂