Hoooo…shit. I had to put on the bitchiest of the Bitchfaces for this one folk. Y’all know how I feel about adultery. Mm umm. Y’all also know how I feel about dudes who drag their dick across half of the area code closest to their primary residence, then expect some broad to sit around with her chaste face painted on.
Biiiitch. Nuh uh.
Okay, so, today’s Dear Bitchface. I’m probably not the right one for this, and I’m just giving fair warning there.
Dear Bitchface,
I am currently involved with a man who is still married. He does still live with his wife, but he tells me they have a dead bedroom, and that he is there solely for his 2 children. However, something happened today that made me question our relationship and where it’s heading.
This morning, he called me on his way to work, as he does every day. After a little bit of chit-chat, he told me he had sex with his wife over the weekend, but he thought of me the entire time. I was absolutely floored, and so hurt. He has assured me on multiple occasions that there is nothing sexual between them at all any longer. Now I am not sure if he has been lying to me about their relationship state, or what’s going on. Please tell me, is it worth trying to salvage?
Anonymous
ohmyjesusohmyjesusohmyjesusohmybabyjesusinamanger.
Hooo child, you need to be thankful I had all them Baby Jesus’ up there because I was about to flagrantly throw fuck around like it was caught on my fingertip and needed to be shook loose.
Girl. No. You’re doing it all wrong. The whole damned mess. This isn’t good.
Let me try to unpack all this dumb shit you have happening here. It’s just so messy and unkempt. Like, is this what your hair is like also? Because Olaplex will fix your hair like superfast, but the rest of this is going to take time and money for at least one therapist, possibly more.
What are you doing, in another woman’s marriage, first off? It doesn’t matter what that dude says, at all, not even a bit. If they’re still married, and clearly they are, you don’t fuck with that. That’s just girl code. That’s just having a shred of decency in you. That’s just not being a common ass tramp. That’s being some level of respectable.
You’ve got to fix that, sis, and quick, because you’re not on the level good women rest on. You’re on some other shit, and I don’t like it. I’m not a fan, I’m not sending you a self-addressed stamped envelope, I’m not requesting an 8x10 glossy, you hear me?
Do better.
Secondly, you literally just wrote to me because the man who is cheating on his wife to sleep with you just cheated on you. That’s the long and short of it. So I’ll ask you this; did you expect anything different?
Oh, you did. You really did.
Mmm umm. No. No, that won’t happen, because he’s a cheater. He’s a cheater, and a liar, and just an all-around bad person. That’s what you bought yourself, sis. A bad dude. A terrible man. And now you’re mad because he is “cheating” on you with the woman he is married to and still shares a marital bed with?
You can’t be serious. Like, you’re really not serious, right? Because I cannot take you seriously. This is distasteful on so many fucking levels. It’s honestly got my lip curling up as I type this.
Okay, you need some advice, so here’s mine. You need to disengage, immediately. Now, like by the time I’m done writing this, you erase his contact info and get to stepping.
Now, is that part done? Who knows, I can’t trust you. You sleep with other women's husbands, sis. You can’t be trusted.
However, let’s pretend for the sake of this column that you have. Okay, now jump on any one of the mental health by Zoom options that Google gives to you, and find yourself a good therapist. If you have insurance, awesome. If not, well, you’re really going to need to go in your pocket on this.
You need to get to the root cause of why you feel so shitty about yourself that you’re not only allowing another woman's husband to make you a side piece, but you’re actually thinking that lying ass cheater gives a fuck about you. Honey, he doesn’t even give a fuck about his wife, the woman he stood in front of God and everybody and swore he gave a fuck about.
Girl. Get it together. This is just nasty, low-downed, and vulgar. This is ground zero tramp level. This is not a good look.
I mean this in the nicest way possible. You’ve got to fucking check yourself before you all-out fucking wreck yourself, homegirl. This is just nasty.
I wish you the best. I mean, I’m trying to, but it’s difficult. Sheesh.
1000% of all that. I feel bad for these women who think, "But I'm DIFFERENT!" Lord knows I've been her, but never to this extent. You may be different, but he isn't! That's what I've learned.
Solid.
"Is it worth trying to salvage?" That's almost as funny as your response. Imma be laughing all day.